Seeking Advice: Dealing with an adult child who's slightly handicapped

So, we're having some challenges with our adult child who lives at home. I'll get to those, but first here's some background.My step-daughter is 22 with a mild handicap. I won't go into the details, but she basically has something similar to aspberger's, though it's not that exactly (and it's not autism). She's mentally immature (basically the maturity level of a 15 year old) and is not really capable of critical thinking. As such, she's not really able to work full-time or go to school. But she is physically capable of doing a lot of things.We therefore try to have her help out with household chores. No different than what you'd expect of your teenager--help with taking out the trash, doing the dishes, laundry, etc. We try to divvy up chores between myself, my wife, and our other daughter (12), so no one feels they're overburdened (at least in theory).Here's the issue: Our older daughter often has to be nagged to do her chores, and even when she does them, she often doesn't do them completely. We've tried to be very clear with her what the expectations are, and neither myself or my wife feel what we ask of her is beyond her abilities. What's hard to tell is whether this is because of her maturity level, her handicap, or both.I work from home but my wife doesn't, which means it's often me who has to do the nagging, and I am really getting tired of having to play this role. I've talked to my wife about it, and she's trying to be more proactive about being the enforcer also. But we basically have to have the same conversation with our older daughter over and over again, sometimes days apart.The issue, in my mind, is that there's no accountability. No matter how many times we have this conversation, nothing gets better. My wife feels like we can't discipline her because she's an adult, but I feel that until she behaves like an adult (which may never happen), she shouldn't be treated like one. Which means there should be consequences for not doing chores. My wife, on the other hand, doesn't think we should do that, and is fine with simply having the conversation again and again.Part of the issue is that my wife grew up with one parent who was very strict and OCD, thus had some very harsh rules about cleaning, while the other parent was the polar opposite. I suspect she doesn't want to be stricter with our older daughter because she doesn't want to be like her mom. At the same time, I'm so tired of this situation. It's really frustrating me.Any ideas of how to make this work? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2MravsN