A little history on me.I never wanted kids. Hated them in fact. Little snot nosed, curtain climbing, cookie crumbling, pains in the ass. Why would a single guy want to deal with that nonsense? Especially one that worked in the club business that was full of free booze and all the women he could eat?Then BOOM my GF at the time (who I was kicking out on the next weekend or at least that was the plan) turns up preggo. Well shit. Now I'm old school. You make a child you bite the bullet and take care of them. So I did the 'honorable' thing and married her. I made a kid and I didn't want to deal with the guilt of just mailing her money every month while she paraded a plethora of 'new daddies' through her trailer every month.The funny thing is, once he was born, he really grew on me. The smiles, the hugs, just the simple act of giving him his bottle was a pleasure. It was WEIRD. Here I was this nightclub DJ of relative fame could be melted by a baby.The one night that sticks in my memory because, by that time, she waited until I got home from my day job to 'run to Wal Mart' (AKA meet her boyfriends and yes plural) so we built a bond. I was headed to work at the club and he was screaming 'no daddy no please don't leave'. It broke my damn heart and I had one of the worst nights as a DJ I ever had.Fast forward to when I caught her cheating. It took me six months but I got custody. I left the club and marketing / promotions life. I loved it but I loved him more. So I got a real job and did okay with it. Put him in a very good day care and couldn't wait to see him at the end of the day.Over the next 18 years I invested myself in him. Oh sure I had my friends on the internet some of which I'm still friends with to this day but he was my focus. I can't tell you how much it makes me smile to remember playing 007 with him on his N64, tucking him in, and saying 'thanks for killing me tonight'. Watching Cheers with him until he fell asleep, learning about Pokemon, watching 'So Weird' and 'The Famous Jett Jackson' on Sunday nights.As he grew older I tried to keep up with his interests. I didn't know Jack about Harry Potter until he got into it. I started reading the books and, before long, every time a book came out I'd buy the CD's for me and the books for him (he preferred reading). We still discuss it to this day. He's 23 now by the way and pretty successful.Sorry for the ramble folks but, if you love someone, you invest yourself in them. You find out what their passion is and learn about it. It gives you the opportunity to discuss it with them and learn more about what makes them tick. Not only that but it shows you care about what they care about.Do I have regrets? Yes. Did I make mistakes? Yes. But my son and I are extremely close. Using the same formula I landed a, now, wife that is so out of my league that every time I look at her I wonder what the hell she's doing with me because she could do so much better. I didn't 'use' my formula to land her but I found out what she was passionate about and learned about it. It allows us to have conversations that she's actively engaged and interested in same as it was with my son. Frankly without him around I wouldn't have known what 'Harry Potter' or 'Pokemon' was unless I made the effort to learn. I did and it garnered literally thousands of hours of fun and discussion that drew us closer together.Of course that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.By the way I do love this sub. I miss being a 'daddy'. Anybody can be a father or a mother. It takes a bit of effort to be a 'mommy' or a 'daddy'. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2GoQErY
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