Feel free to skip to the TL DR.......so, I know it's so petty and I never thought I'd be near the Jealous Psychotic Ex tier. That was his job, for a long time. And it was "just fine" when it was him seeing ME with some one new and he threw fits, insisting he watch our daughter in lieu of me even BRINGING HER ALONG when I spent time with a new guy (despite him also being a father)... but now I'm just supposed to accept this and roll out the welcome mat for this new 19 year old child to play house with my 8 year old daughter. (The irony - we are in our late 20s now, but when we first split, I was the same age as this girl is now, and the man I was talking to was my ex's present age. So essentially my ex is doing EXACTLY what he berated me and my then-boyfriend for doing at the time.)Only this situation is different - when I was 19, I held down a full time job, went to college, had a car, and took care of my then-infant child. A 27 year old man was actually an appropriate peer for me. THIS girl has NO experience with kids and in my eyes, being a mere 12 years older than my child, is incapable of appropriately parenting her. The girl couldn't even keep a pet snake alive ffs. No car, (so if my daughter had an emergency while dad's at work she'd be fucked). Works at the grocery store. And i can't help but feel like she's your classic "move me out of my mommy's house and be my new daddy" type of teenage girl, which alone is enough to turn my stomach... My ex has everything he has because of me financially helping him get a degree and a vehicle etc., continuing past even AFTER we had broken up because he had no other support and i wasnt going to let my daughters father be homeless. For years I supported him because of being manipulated to actually believe I was a "gold digger" for wanting to be with an adult who held down a stable job and a roof over their own head. We split mutually, after years of arguing, and now some 19 year old ACTUAL gold digger is reaping the benefits.I guess the TL;DR is that my ex has been a huge hypocrite in regards to us seeing other people; now that he's found a career and found someone, after sucking up my finances to do so, everything that wasn't okay, suddenly is. I'm supposed to welcome someone not old enough to be my daughter's real mom, in as her stepmom, and I don't know or trust her. But the problem is that I don't WANT to know her. I have aspergers, BDD, borderline, etc, and due to my mental disorders the idea of meeting the younger prettier thing that's getting every benefit that I worked for her to have, is enough to skyrocket my anxiety to the point of wanting to tear out my hair. Even someone WITHOUT anxiety disorders doesnt like being compared to someone better looking. Any judgement free advice on how to cope and 'be the bigger person' would be appreciated. I know I'm in the wrong but my emotions have an absolute hellhold on me for everything mentioned above. I'm caught in this limbo of not knowing whether I'm uncomfortable with her watching my daughter because I don't like or trust HER, Or if I'm just rationalizing my resentment toward my ex. I feel like I'm justified to an extent but I also know my emotions are probably making things out to be worse. But... We can't help how we feel. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RnPx0J
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