Judge ordered shared custody and overnights with 4 month old. Feel like I’m losing my mind right now and need some advice.

My ex and I have split up when I was just starting my second trimester. He basically abandoned me until a couple weeks before birth, and has done every single thing he can to wreck me ever since. He’s used our baby to insert himself into every aspect of my life he can.I’ve just finally started to get some semblance of a routine with our son and I was so confident that the judge would order visitation during the week (already wasn’t crazy about having him in my home for that, but I breastfeed). My lawyer basically told me there was no way he’d get shared physical custody at this age, but here we are.We have a 60/40 physical split, he has our son for 3 days, two overnights and 50/50 legal custody. There is no way this is healthy, and the judge all but ignored every shred of evidence we provided about the emotional development of babies at this age, breastfeeding, the need for routine, nipple confusion. You name it, I brought it up. I plan to file an appeal, but my lawyer advised me that it’s not likely to get overturned. I just have no idea why this is allowed to happen. Every professional I’ve ever read about advises against a back and forth custody schedule like this. He’s way too young to be away from me overnight and I’m so worried this will throw him off and effect his attachment to me. My ex only fought for more custody so he wouldn’t have to pay me as much support (he said that to my face) and told me he’ll do whatever he can to “keep me out of his pockets”. He doesn’t care about this poor baby, and he’s fine with allowing him to suffer. And the judge will let him!Reddit, how do I handle being away from my practically newborn 3 days a week? Why is this even allowed to happen? Why does the government get to rip a baby away from their mother for half the week because dad just wants it? I was under the impression courts do what’s best for the child, but there is no way anyone could spin this in my sons best interest. I know I’m venting but I just need some support because I feel like my heart is breaking. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2QtdOW2