I'm giving up

I can't do this anymore. I'm not a good mother and it is killing me. I have a 4 year old daughter and two stepchildren who are with us 50% of the time. The older ones are both lovely and very good kids. My daughter is... Well she is very spirited, opinionated, funny, intelligent and energetic. She can be hard to handle. Bedtime is usually a nightmare, dinnertime is a nightmare, getting dressed in the morning is usually a nightmare. She yells if she doesn't get her way, she bites herself (I see her do it) and blames kids in her class, she doesn't listen, she pulls my hair, hits us if she is not happy with the answer we give her. I just can't do this anymore. We don't have any close family nearby and no friends since recently (last January) moved to a new country and it has been very hard to get to know people. So I can't get much help or support.I've started to lose my temper and yell and be angry. I don't want to be a yelling mother, I wasn't raised that way. I hate myself every time that happens but it's hard to stop.I have tried to be very strict with her and I have tried RIE - respectful parenting but it only works to a certain extent.I don't know what to do. I want to help my daughter to be a better person and feel better but I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I'm the problem, I don't know.Sorry for the rambling. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Q700Ry