I would like to vent.

Annon account, really just looking to get stuff off of my chest.​So here's the situation. My wife and I have two kids, Thing 1 (3.5 y/o), and Thing 2 (1 y/o). (That's a Cat in the Hat reference, in case you never read that book.) Wife is currently pregnant, and still in prime morning sickness mode. We are relatively young (think mid 20s).​Here's our daily routine: Crack of dawn I wake, sometimes shower and drive about an hour to work. I work in the STEM field, and am pretty busy all day. Wife will stay at home with the kids during the day (Thing 1 will go to a mother's day out program twice a week for a few hours). Some time before I leave work the wife drops the kids off with my mother so my wife can commute to her work (medical field, half an hour drive). My mother works an office job, and usually gets the kids at her work. While I'm commuting home my wife likes to talk to me on the phone. this is usually her going on about her day and things that upset her, never really asking how my days have been. I get the kids from my mom's house, go home and watch them until my wife gets home, usually well after sun set. Most days this means the kids stay up well past 9 pm since Thing 2 refuses to be put to sleep by me. Thing 2 also is still waking up every 2 hours, and with my wife's nausea medicine she won't wake up for him half the time. Wife works Saturdays, so I'm with kids for most of the day Saturday, some Saturdays all day since my wife needs to rest cause pregnant.​Everyday when I get home with the kids the house is a mess. I try and clean, but Thing 1 and 2 are very adamant about receiving my undivided attention. No matter what I get clean or how much work I put into the house, it's either undone the next day or no more work is put into the house while I'm at work. This is frustrating.​While I'm at work, my wife will text me all day long trying to vent about her morning sickness and the kids being needy. I'm not the most important employee at my company by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm not one with a lot of free time either. I do my best to reply to my wife and offer sympathy, but she is never satisfied with my responses. This is frustrating.​Neither my wife or I have been able to feel any bit of excitement about the baby growing in her belly. Wife is a more traditional thinker, and feels that terminating a pregnancy at any stage is equivalent to man slaughter. I don't share these views, but understand that if I push too hard on this I won't have a wife anymore, and may not get to see my kids anymore either. This is frustrating.​I feel depressed. I have struggled with thoughts of suicide before, and have attempted suicide long before I met my wife. Even though our kids are very needy, they are what keep me from trying again. My wife has suffered from postpartum twice, and is consistently commenting about how she can't handle it a third time. I am so ready to give up as well, and fell numb most days. This is terrifying.​Our finances are horrible. I am in the STEM field, and make (pre-taxes) $60k a year. my wife is considered part time, and makes roughly $1,000 a month. Health insurance and taxes have been so terrible that my actual yearly pay is around $45k a year. My wife is an avid spender, and prefers to be in control of the bills. Just last month our bank account dropped to $20 because all of the bills pulled on a single pay check, and we had to go to the doctors for the kids for multiple reasons. This is terrifying.​My wife and I are currently strictly platonic. She gets mad when I leave in the morning without waking her up for a side hug, but that's it. Ever since we found out she is pregnant we haven't shared anything more than that. No kiss, no other hugs, nothing. I understand, she's got a human in her and on her at all times, so she needs her space, and sometimes so do I. But with most days feeling like I'm on the edge of a breakdown, I just want another adult to hold me and let me know it's going to be ok. This is frustrating.​All in all I am just tired of waking up every day. I am tired of being a parent. I am tired of being the only one cleaning our house. I am tired of living most days. I need to get help but I realistically can't.​"Things will get better" Yes, they will. I will continue to wake up every morning. I will continue to give my all in raising my children. I will continue to clean our house. I will continue to live. Whether I like it or not, I am going to have a third child, and will love it and care for it just the same as my other two.​Thank you for listening to me complain today. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2BCMH2q