Warning: Long, as you can likely already see. I have provided a tl;dr at the bottom.There are typical nine year olds.And then, there is Dominic.Dominic has ADHD and ODD, possibly dyslexia. He is medicated on adult doses of medication which barely keep him functional and he is three grades behind his peers. He is prone to violent outbursts of rage, frustration, frequently puts himself into dangerous situations, and almost never demonstrates the ability to show remorse for his actions.His attention-seeking behavior borders on legitimate narcissism and the only thing he cares about after doing something terrible is, "Why are you guys punishing me?"Most of the time, the answers he gives us in terms of why he did something bad are completely unintelligible and make no sense in the context of what happened. His favorite thing is to begin talking about what happened in various Marvel movies he enjoys. We often give up and simply resort to sending him to his room, taking toys away, and delving deeper into our studies on children with his afflictions.The ADHD means that his emotional intelligence is extremely low, which I deeply sympathize with, as I am a presently-unmedicated ADD adult myself. Dominic and I understand each other most of the time, even though he can be extremely frustrating to work with.In spite of this, I love being a part of this family. It has led me to a life of sobriety after well over a decade of alcoholism beginning when I was 14 and my life feels wholly complete for once.However... he crossed a line last night which I never imagined he was capable of. Animal abuse.Tango is a baby kakariki who came into our family some months ago, nearly straight from the incubator. He is the cutest thing, very energetic, and loves to hop around the house exploring while he learns how to fly.Dominic has an extremely difficult time controlling his impulse to chase Tango around the apartment, which stresses him out when he just wants to hang out and be a "part of the flock," as it were.Last night, my girlfriend and I were cooking dinner and Dominic yelled from the bedroom, "I can't get Tango out from under the bed!""Be right there," I called to him.So, I finished chopping my onion, washed my hands, and headed towards the bedroom when I heard, "Got him! He's hiding behind your trash can."Well, I went back behind the trash can and I could tell something was already wrong. The typical affectionate, happy, energetic kakariki we know and love was cowering and extremely defensive. He was breathing heavily and extremely wary of my hand when it reached out to pick him up.What's worse: All of his tail feathers were gone. I later found them lying on the floor in a clump.Without going into the nitty-gritty of what happened that evening, Dominic has since admitted that he did it intentionally. He is extremely... blank when speaking about the incident and really hasn't shown a lick of remorse. All he is asking is why he has to stay in his room, why we are doing "this" to him, and what he can do to come out and have privileges back.Thing is, he doesn't understand how close we really were to sending him to acute-care psych inpatient for a 72 hour safety hold.I don't know what to do at this point. We lined therapy up initially (now that he's on "real" insurance) but after a few weeks of talking to one clinic and making initial appointments, they dropped the bomb on us that they wouldn't accept Blue Cross any more.I know what this behavior means. Children who hurt animals intentionally have extremely good odds of growing into a sociopath as they mature.I don't know what kind of help he needs, though. Quite frankly, we're scared of him now. We're scared to have animals any more, and we're even more scared that he is going to do this to a human being given enough time and the right situation.I have heard that there are "psychiatric boarding schools" which take insurance, and I hate to say it, but that is not off the table in my mind.Anyway, rant over. Any and all advice would be appreciated, however I would rather not hear, "Dude, run from this family," as I have from some other people.tl;dr ADHD nine year old has progressed to animal abuse and I have no idea what to do. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Sn0aku
No comments:
Post a Comment