My little brother is out of control.

I'm 18 and my brother is 5. For 13 years I was an only child. When my brother came along, things were great for the first year or two...and then it just spiraled out of control. I admit he has seen me have some panic attacks and has witnessed bad arguments(never physical) between me and my mom growing up, so I'm sure that has contributed. Around 3, he started becoming violent. Not just trying to play around, but actually trying to inflict pain. I would take him off of me, say no and call my mom over to get him. One thing I noticed is that whenever he would be violent, my mom would not punish him but almost...reward him. For example, one time he did this, my mom came and picked him up and next moment she's kissing him and coddling him. Another thing I noticed is that when he first started having tantrums my mom didn't handle it the best. She would either scream back, try to spank him or just shut him out of her room and lock the door. I'm not trying to pin the blame on her for his behavior...I know I should've helped my mom shut down this behavior when it started, but I was a careless teenager who thought that my brother was my moms complete responsibility. Anyway...His behavior started getting progressively worse. Now at age 5, he's been kicked out of his past 4 daycares and his tantrums are off the chain. He destroys/throw things, screams profanities and threats, and tries to physically hurt us. He pretty much runs my moms life and shes drained on a daily basis. I canceled my plans to move & babysit him all day during the week now because he has nowhere to go. I just want to know how I can help alter this behavior and teach him to respect me. When he acts up I do things like disallow him to go outside, take away his electronics, etc. but it seems hopeless, like nothing works anymore. I've read about spanking and i don't think it would be very helpful for him.He is getting evaluated for ADHD/autism in a few weeks, but I honestly just think a huge part of this is our lack of building his feelings of respect for us(he acts completely different when my father is watching him. He actually listens and doesn't act up)but I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to give up. If any of you have any advice at all about how I can help reverse this behavior I would really appreciate it. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2zP64BJ