Wife thinks I am too easy on our 3 year old. I think she is way too hard on her. Who is what? And how can we resolve this?

We have two beautiful young girls (3 and 1).Our three year old, to me, is normal. Not too mischievous but obviously is a little. To me, normal.My wife exploded on me tonight and said I don’t discipline her and that I’m “always the good guy.” I wholeheartedly disagreed with her because it’s just not true.My wife likes to yell, I don’t unless it’s dangerous . And she for whatever reason takes that as me taking it easy.I think my wife yells at her too much. To the degree that my daughter gets scared to mess up.Examples: my daughter drops a bowl of Cheerios, my wife will at least sigh in disgust and follow it up with “you’re never careful, now I have to clean this up.” She’ll make a scene of it, get out the vacuum, and you can just see the happiness sucked out of my little girl.Me? It’s a bowl of Cheerios. I will say be careful next time sweetie, but don’t worry about it, it was an accident.My daughter stands on a chair. I tell her to sit down. She doesn’t sit down. I put her in timeout.My wife? “Get off the chair how many times do I have to tell you not to stand on the furniture you’re going to make me explode!”Why? Why say that? I’m almost okay with raising the voice on it because it’s dangerous, but why say you’re going to make me explode?My daughter colors on the ground and it gets on the hardwood floors. We have told her before not to do that. Me? I take the crayons away for the day. If she throws a fit over it, she goes to timeout. My wife? Yells at her. How many times do we have to tell you that? What is wrong? What is the problem? Why can’t you ever listen?I don’t “not” discipline my daughter. She just turned 3. She’s going to make mistakes. I’m against yelling unless it’s her in immediate danger.I have talked it over with my wife before. She’s convinced I’m too easy on her. I’m getting tired of it honestly. Her parents raised her with yelling and guilt (mess up and they made her feel like shit). Mine rarely yelled unless it was danger. Never put me down.I get that we are different with discipline. But i don’t think I’m in the wrong here. And she’s refusing to meet me halfway.What can I do? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2mdPOsK