My wife and disciplining our 4 year old daughter

My wife is just a pushover when it comes to disciplining our 4 year old daughter. Our 4 year old daughter has some serious issues. First, she isn't yet toilet trained, and she throws way more tantrums than a 4 year old should. My wife just spoils and coddles our daughter to an unhealthy degree. She is never consistent with discipline, she ALWAYS caves, and worst of all, whenever I discipline our daughter, she apologizes to my daughter for my discipline. And I'm not abusive or overly authoritarian or anything extreme like that. I do the simple things everyone does (time outs, limits on screen time, etc). Unfortunately, since my wife is the stay at home parent, I have a hard time with discipline. My wife has said that she does this because she doesn't want our daughter to grow up to hate her, and that's just crazy. Just because your parents put you in a time out for misbehaving when you were 4 doesn't mean they'll grow up to hate you. It's like my wife has become our daughter's slave.I'll give you a recent example: this weekend we wanted to go look for a new couch. My daughter didn't want to go and was throwing a tantrum about getting dressed, so instead of being consistent and ignoring the tantrums, my wife caved and we didn't go. This is driving me crazy. Our marriage is on the line, and my wife refuses to see a marriage counselor and stop undermining my discipline. I really don't want to give her an ultimatum or have a divorce over this. What should I do to fix this? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2oKAeWG