BIG Parenting Conflict Between Partners

If this is the wrong platform to ask, my apologies. (Please help send me in the right direction if this is the case lol)My husband and I do well parenting out two young children together, I'd say, 80% of the time. (as long as he is having a good day)... My husband changes diapers, kisses booboos, cooks dinner sometimes lol, tucks them in when I cant, plays all the best games with them, etc. HOWEVER, if he decides he is having a bad day, or suddenly for some unrelated reason, decides he is in a bad mood.. he lashes out on the kids for any tiny thing they do. (Even if they play too loud they may get in big trouble.)He will stomp as he walks through the house towards them, and YELL louder than a siren until his veins pop out of his head and neck. He will terrorize them with his intimidating persona...(military vet - really shines through)... and I always step infront of the kids in those moments, or tell him to stop!! But that makes it WAAAYYYY worse, and he will turn his aggression towards all three of us that much more.And within moments, he is back to normal, and wants to take the kids to the park etc.. but doesnt understand why we are all in a different mood. (Because the kids & I are in shock and traumatized).. if we don't "give him another chance" he is prone to get upset all over again, so it's hard.This happens maybe 2 times a month now.. it used to happen ALLLLLL THE TIME. But he is "trying" to get better. He refuses counseling, medication, etc etc.. so it's hard for me to suggest anything that will help his level of mood swings.Our kids are young. About to turn 2 and 6. This morning the little one wasn't feeling well (has been fighting a tough cold for a few days) so our son was vocal this morning.. moaning and groaning, being miserable. My husband started stomping from our room upstairs, down the hallway, and down the stairs, SO LOUDLY, that my toddler started to practically hyperventilate in absolute fear! He didnt know what the loud banging was over his head and he was terrified. Then, before I could even register what was happening, my husband grabbed up the little one and spanked him twice. Causing him to cry that much worse. I shouted, "he didnt do anything!!! He just doesnt feel well!!" And my husband said, "he was being too loud.. he did everything. Now shut up and go in the bathroom."We do not see eye to eye on his obscurely strict was of reprimanding children (of any age) but especially when they are as young as ours are now!!I'm on my very very very last straw. Should I divorce this guy yet, give him an ultimatum, leave for my moms for awhile, what...?Because he is absolutely perfect all the rest of the time!! Seriously a delight to be around. But these rare blow ups, are enough to cause me to second guess who I chose to raise children with. I'm embarrassed.. and I feel so sorry for my kids.. I need something to change, what do I do? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2mFtKb3