What to do when your kid is the outcast?

My 8 year old son, Jack, isn't a popular kid in school, and it's always been that way. Since going into school at four, he has never been invited to many birthday parties (and less now since at this age they don't invite the whole class), has never been invited for many playdates and, until this year, I've never heard him talk about hanging out with the kids at school. My husband and I think this is because he can be a little overwhelming. He is that kid in your class who just tried too hard to be familiar and funny when he wasn't, combined with some insecurity over not being a great athlete or taking much interest in sports, in general. We've tried to teach him some social skills in this area -- just keeping your cool a bit, don't boast, etc but he is who he is and, mostly he is just a lovely kid who can be a bit enthusiastic. I don't want to change him.Now, as far as I know, he isn't being picked on. They're not mean to him. They just leave him out of things because they aren't friends. There were more group activities during recess when they were younger, but now that they're in the third grade, they have all gone off into their own groups, often leaving Jack out. We've asked Jack and his teachers and there doesn't seem to be any outward bullying, just no one he could call a friend.When we have asked him the past about making friends, having kids over the house for playdates and how he feels about hanging out at recess alone, he always said he doesn't mind, he likes being alone, he likes to spend time thinking, he likes the quiet etc, etc. We decided not the press the issue at the time because he really is a happy kid normally. He does like to spend time by himself, even when at home. He likes the quiet. He does very well in school academically, and is consistently praised by his teachers for being kind, funny and motivated to do good work. He laughs and smiles and plays. On the surface, there was no real issue.This year, the one kid that he did make friends with in his after-school program, Matthew, has joined his school and is in his class. They didn't see much of each other the previous year because Matthew left the after school program before second grade. Matthew's mother and I tried to get them together the past year when we could, and when we heard Matthew would be joining the class, we were thrilled. Jack would have a friend! An actual friend! This is great, right?Well, kind of. Matthew is like Jack - smart, driven to do well... and a bit obnoxious. They get silly together a lot (which is normal) but bring it to the extreme (which is off-putting). Jack was a little like this before. With Matthew, he is a lot like this because that's Matthew's default mode. Even when I've seen Jack turn it down around other people, Matthew seems to turn it up. I can see the other kids shy away from Matthew, and in turn, they have shied away even more from Jack. No playdates made, no birthday invites extended, no playing at recess with anyone but Matthew.So, I'm not sure what to do. I'm stuck. He's so happy that Matthew is there now. He's so happy to have a friend and, even though I find Matthew tiring, Jack truly loves him and his company. He has admitted to us now that he was pretty lonely in school in the past but that it's better now that Matthew is here. I suggest hanging out with other kids in school as well as Matthew but I understand that it's difficult for him since they were never very accepting to begin with and that they don't want to hang out with Matthew at all. He wonders what he did wrong and why the other kids don't like him. I'm just at a loss. What do I do for my kid who wants friends but just can't seem to make any? Any advice from parents who have been in this situation would be so appreciated. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2iizVPO