TL;DL We have no parenting experience and we suddenly have a 3 year old to take care of, possibly permanently. She seems to be developmentally behind, and except for consistency and routine, we are struggling on how to help her grow and succeed. Any resources, suggestions, or help is a big help!We are a foster family and 2 weeks ago, we had a 3 year old foster girl placed in our home. (She is actually just a couple of weeks short of 3 years old, but close enough) Despite her age, she seems developmentally similar to that of a 1.5-2 year old. After her first 2 weeks with us, she is learning where boundaries are, how her routine will go, that she is loved, and all of her basic needs will easily be met.The problem my wife and I are having is that we have not had the benefit of having 3 years of run-up to this point to take care of her, psychologically and behaviorally. Jumping into parenthood with both feet and zero experience is taking its toll on us. I find myself feeling emotionally strung out and not knowing what the 'right' thing is to do in many given situations. I don't even know where to begin looking for help since I don't think there are books called "With no experience, you're starting out with a 3 year old. Here's what to do:"If anyone can recommend any resources or advice on literally anything, I'm all ears.Additional behavioral information:Doesn't color, Doesn't do pretend play and watching tv is a struggle and not engaging for her. Sesame Street and other kids shows are not interesting. I'm not necessarily complaining; no tv is fine with me, but it just seems weird/unusual when I've seen many other children glued to tablets or TVs. I all three of these can be attributed to very little parental interaction with her biological parents. In her paperwork, it was described that she used to just be forced to spend hours in her room, unattended by her parents. I would guess that there was no attempt to keep her entertained or no attempt to show her how to color or pretend or... like anything else.She has a very hard time paying attention and listening. Calmly telling her no or calling her name rarely seems to register with her and I'm embarrassed to admit that loudly yelling her name or shouting "NO" at her (not angrily, just loud and jarring) when she reaches for the stove or outlets is the only way to get her attention in 'urgent' distracting situations. She is not hard of hearing, as she responds to a whisper in a quiet room.She likes dumping things out and taking things off of shelves. She will put them back if we make her, begrudgingly. She actually DID wooden puzzle the other day with minimal guidance from me (still hand holding her so she stays focused). I was so proud.Language skills are very lacking, but potential is there. My wife and I just talk and talk and talk to her about every little thing to try to expand her vocabulary and encourage verbalization. She has learned a dozen or more words in the past 2 weeks and has just a few days ago started to pick up on descriptors and common multi word phrases.Overall, she doesn't seem to have a strong idea of self. She almost exclusive does things that only illicit a reaction from us or to interact with us with play. She won't go play on her own or stay busy very willingly and needs constant encouragement to keep playing with the same thing for more than just a few seconds.She is weirdly picky with any foods. Sometimes she will eat x and not y, and sometimes vice versa. She often asks for food when she's not busy or wanting attention, so it's hard to tell if she's actually hungry. I'm assuming she does this because when she asked for food, it was one of the few times her biological parents actually gave her attention.She doesn't respond to expressions of pride and positive attention/verbal affirmations/hugs/smiling like I would expect. It's more like she's a bit uncomfortable with how much we shower her with positivity and encouragement when she does something correctly.LOVES playing on playground, very physically active and coordinated, dexterity and movement seems to be in line with age. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2n9qnbE
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