My daughter got her first period last night... and she's nine. I need to know the best way to handle it.

I'm not freaking out or something, and I'm not even 100% surprised since I know it does happen that early sometimes + I had noticed some changes in her body that happened to me before I got my period.Also, fortunately, I had already explained menstruation to her in clear, simple terms, so she herself wasn't scared or upset. And she knows what pads and tampons are, because I purchased them in front of her numerous times and I've been honest when she wanted to know what they are for.She just told me what had happened, and I showed her how to attach a pad to her undies and sent her off with a few extra for school, hidden in a cute little bag, while also telling her I'm sure the school nurse would have helpful advice if she felt a need for it during the school day. She seemed perfectly fine, even if annoyed about this new thing to take care of.The thing is, I'm no longer with her dad. We have an equitable custody arrangement and they see each other very very often. (We live about seven minutes apart.) I know HE will be very disturbed by this, and yet I also know she's a kid and can't indefinitely be careful enough at hiding the products she needs.I myself find it unsettling, but I'm worried he'll actually be horrified and unable to hide that response. So I should probably tell him, to get it out of the way and make sure he knows not to behave with shock if he finds pads? That way I will be the only one exposed to whatever upsetting emotions he may feel.On the other hand, I know she doesn't want Daddy to know. (Which is really saying something -- she had no trouble or embarrassment telling my husband she had to pack some pads with her just in case. She trusts us more than she trusts her father, though her father certainly loves her and does his best.)I'm also worried about all the questions my ex is going to ask about "what we did wrong" to "make" this happen. But our little girl is healthy, exercises, eats good foods, and I won't have any way to respond to that.Also, when should tampons be introduced, and how? She knows what they are, but was with the pads so far. She noted they are uncomfortable, or at least they feel awkward, but didn't ask about tampons?Should I wait until she asks about them? Should I remind her they're an option? I admit I feel a little queasy at the thought, but I also know women whose moms wouldn't provide tampons even when the kids needed them, and I don't want to be THAT mom, who leaves her kid with a sub-par option just because of my personal discomfort.And how do you explain to a child how to use one, when she does want to? Just hand her the instruction pamphlet?! Are there better resources?I guess I wish I had thought this through earlier. I did expect it to happen a bit later.Thanks for any help you can offer. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2zItOvN