My 3 year old has me at the end of my rope.

I love her to pieces. She is my oldest. Her dad is out of the picture. He stopped seeing her in january of this year. He even stopped paying child support in october. He step dad has been here since she was 1 and he adores her. Him and I had a child in september of 2016. This is where things definitely went sour.She has, for the most part, always liked her step dad. We'll call him d. She hasn't always listened to him, but it's always reinforced that she should be. When b(baby sister) was born, she had actually gone to her fathers. He was sick and she came back with a nasty cough. P (3 year old) wasn't allowed near b for a while, at least not in her face. I feel like this could have added some resentment.Over the last 6 months or so, p has absolutely been out of control for her. She blatantly ignores us. She won't listen until you literally start yelling and then she's all upset over it. If she is in the middle of doing something that she wants to be done, she will finish before she acknowledges you, unless you go over and intervene.She won't stay in bed all night anymore. Sometimes it's every 2 hours after 11 pm that she is coming out trying to sleep in my bed or on the couch. If she comes to my bed I put her back in her room. If I'm awake and she comes out I put her back. If I'm asleep and she goes to the couch she's there til morning.She has this new thing where she stands on the end of her crib rail and hits all the stuffed animals out of the corner net. She does this over b's bed as well. Wakes her up at 5 in the morning. It's becoming infuriating, because she also has decided she hates nap time so we have a miserable 3 year old. I don't understand why her sleep has become so fucking shitty.There are days where she acts like she hates d. Only mom can do this or mom can do that. It's exhausting. She will shove b or take her toys sometimes. There are times where p wants b up and then once she is up wants nothing to do with her. This isn't always. There are times where she really loves having b around and she'll play with her. They will act like they have never fought.P will come out and snuggle with d. Tell him she loves him and want to do things with just him. I just don't understand her random hatred.For the times she has acted out she has gotten time outs, I try to get down on her lever and speak with her, d also. Today we took all her stuffed animals. Put them in trash bags. I've taken away tv. We've taken her night light. D, who never yells, has even yelled at her a couple of times. And I don't want to be the parent that yells. I hate it whenever it happens. It's the only thing she pays attention too, but she also doesn't listen to that either. I try to praise her for all the good things, but that doesn't seem to matter.I don't know what to do with a 3 year old apparently. The melt downs, the anger, the defiance. What should I do people. I'm at a loss.Tldr: my 3 year old is a punk ass, which is most likely normal, but I don't know how to handle her. I need advice on how to deal with an angry mini me. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2A7K7BR