Something small in my spouse but is something that rubs me as cold.

Guys i get super mad at something my wife (kids stepmom) does and need to vent. We have a blended family of a lot of kids.My bio kids D12 and S16 have chores in the evening. Nothing major - dishes, sweeping, etc. D12 saw stepmom pulling clothes out of the dryer and offered to fold them for stepmom. Stepmom has hands full with little kids (ours). Later stepmom pulls me aside to show me how D12 folded clothes basket and placed it next to another basket of unfolded clean clothes (underwear and Tshirts). Her point being why D12 offer and fold one basket and then place it next to another basket of unfolded clothes and then go disappear to her room. (The other basket had been there all day)So I get defensive for my D12 and angry that the stepmom doesn't appreciate what the child does. I feel she expects teens to be held to a perfection level that step mom is far from maintaining in herself. Or one that was beyond what her and I had as kids growing up. I'll say, "at least she offered", or, "I get that a teen girl wouldn't want to fold a bunch of underwear"Man it just stings because sometimes i feel the older kids are doing it to be liked by stepmom and make her happy (as dysfunctional as that might be in and of itself) and I see this side of step mom that is cold to them.How do I express my feelings without her throwing the, "you're being defensive for your kids" or "you'll never get it". via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dsHLUc