Some background info. I'm a 33f, married to my amazing husband (35m). I have two (soon to be 3) boys, 11 yo and 18 months. My 11yo's father and I were never married, just friends, hooked up a long time ago, had my oldest. He was an absolute, disaster/deadbeat then, gave me no support of any kind until I made him (child support). Many things changed over the years, mostly he met a good woman who kicked his ass in gear.We have a shared parenting arrangement, no child support order any longer (long story. Yes, I'm stupid) and up until recently, he and his fiance shared a home and business and my 11yo split time between their home and ours but for various reasons goes to school in their district. We're about 30-40 minutes from each other. They also have a one year old boy together as well.So to sum it up, recently his now ex-fiance discovered, among other things, that he was cheating on her, kicked him out (along with my son) and he's been falling down a well for the last month. My son has mostly been staying with my husband and I more often than not. I drive him to and from school every day, we make sure he has things he needs for school etc.His dad is turning into a bigger trainwreck than usual, not owning up to the cheating, the lying and everything else. He's moved between two different places (I'm pretty sure he's been having sex with both of the women he's moved in with) and while my son has his own room etc there, he's been bounced around with two people he doesn't know, it's been a very emotional and stressful thing for him and his dad is completely self-absorbed and anytime I've tried to talk to him about how much this is effecting our son, his response is always "what about me".A note about him, he is one of the most narcissistic, manipulative assholes I've ever met in my life. I don't and haven't trusted him in years. Most of what he says is lies and despite catching him and confronting him in these, he will never admit to anything even with proof thrown in his face.I found out in the last week, not only did he take and spend ALL of my son's birthday money (he got about $120 in cash from his birthday about 2 months ago), my son was gifted tickets to a wrestling show for his birthday and his dad claimed he "lost" them so they couldn't go. I guarantee that he sold them, they were emailed tickets, he could have easily gone back to the people that gifted them and asked for another print-out. He also told my son to lie to me about going, which he tried to but I knew something was up.He's a fucking liar and terrible person. My son is very upset though and asked that I not confront him about it, he was almost in tears on the phone telling me not to. I don't think he's ever been physically abusive to him or anything like that, I just don't know what I can do.I still plan on confronting him and have been documenting all of his erratic, messed up behavior and have been starting a dialogue with my attorney. But in all this, I don't know that any of this is big enough to get sole custody back.I don't know what to do, I know my son doesn't like it there but he tries because he loves his dad and wants to spend time with him, despite his dad not wanting to spend time with him even when he's up there. He's used his "roommates" as babysitters while he goes and does whatever. I can't trust anything he says but I don't know how to move forward. Has anyone ever dealt with anything like this? Any advice? Thanks in advance for listening, Reddit.TL;DR: My son's father is a douchebag. Recently was discovered to be cheating by his now ex fiance, was kicked out, falling down a well, took and spent $120 of my son's birthday money and sold his wrestling show tickets. We have shared custody at the moment. Help. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2cC6HHQ
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