Bedtime routine. Check. (Same one for years.)Emotional validation. Check. (I'm trying. Not 100% perfect at it, but I'm trying.)Setting gentle yet firm limits. Check.But tonight, like many nights, and I hate to say this but—my daughter is being a total and complete brat.I wouldn't tell her she was being a brat. I wouldn't treat her as though she was being a brat.But in the spirit of venting among other parents who I'm sure have felt the same way a few times—she's really acting like a brat.Once she's in bed, sometimes I feel like I'm up every 5 minutes."Mommmmy, I can't get my blanket onnnnnn.""Mommmmmmy, I'm thiiiiiirrrsttyy.""Mommmmmmyy, I have something to saaaaay.""Mommmmyy, I'm STARVINGGG" (even though she gets dinner AND a light, healthy bedtime snack)"Mommmmmy random whimpering and crying""Mommmmmyyyy I have a queeeestionnnnn."Sometimes I respond. If my daughter says "I have something to say," I want her to feel like I'll listen. If she's thirsty, I don't want to deny her a drink—if I get thirsty at night, I'd want a drink too. (Though I try VERY VERY hard not to get her a drink, otherwise she'll wet the bed.)Tonight, she wanted to sleep on the floor instead of her bunk bed.Her bunk bed. That she begged for months ago. That her grandparents finally bought for her. That is fucking hell for me to put sheets on, but fine. That she wanted a blanket fort built over. So I build a blanket fort over it for her.She wanted to sleep on the floor. I said fine."But Mommy, I need you to make my bed on the floor." "No, honey. Mommy already puts your sheets and blankets on the bunk bed. Mommy built you a fort. If you want to sleep on the floor, you have to make your own bed on the floor."So, she makes her bed on the floor.Time passes. She won't stop calling out."Mommmmy, when is it gonna be morning?" "When you wake up." "Is that long?" "..."Eventually I walk over and sit with her on the floor. I ask her questions about why she can't sleep. We talk about feelings—feeling sad that it's bedtime because she wants to play. I validate. I get it. I understand. She's excited about school tomorrow. I get it. I understand. I give her some tools (yet again) for calming down enough to sleep. We practice slow breathing.Then I set limits. If you get up out of your room, you will not be able to sleep on the floor. (We discuss, again, what privileges are and what consequences are.)What does she do?Moments later, she's crawling out of her room giggling.1st warning, then you're going back up to your bed.She does it again.Time for limit to be enforced.She wails. She begs for another chance. She says if I put her back in her bed, she's just going to get out again. I say if she does that, she won't get to go to school tomorrow to go on the field trip. She says she doesn't care.I rock her while she cries. I want her to know that even when she's angry with me, I still love her, I'm still here for her. That consequences are hard to receive, and crying and being angry is okay. I ask her if she needs to stomp it out, so she stands up from my lap and stomps out her anger. I hold her and rock her some more. We talk about positive things she can look forward to tomorrow.She goes back up in her bed.Then it starts again:"Mommmmmmmmyyy, I'm still THIRRRSTY.""Mommmmy, my legs are itchyyyy, I need lotionnnnn.""Mommmmmy, I'm cold but I can't put the blanket back on me because it'll get lotion on it."I start going in there to respond to her but I am short, and perhaps, mean.She giggles. I scowl and don't even look at her.I feel desperate tonight, /r/parenting.What am I doing wrong? Am I doing anything wrong?I was raised in an abusive home, and I just don't want to repeat the same mistakes.I just want to be a good mom. But I'm also a single mom. And I'm tired.But I am trying. Goddamn, I am trying.I check on her."You said you'd be back in 4 minutes.""I'm here. I love you." kisses her hand walks out "Goodnight.""What did you say?""I said goodnight, I love you." goes to bathroom"Mommy?" ... "Mommy, what are you doing?""I'm in the bathroom.""Where are you?""I said I'm in the bathroom.""Where?""Please be quiet."I go to the kitchen for a snack."Mommy, what are you doing?""Be quiet, please.""What are you doing? Drinking water?"no responseIt's 10:30. She's talking to herself in bed. I have to be up at 6am to get her up by 6:45-7 for school. I'll be exhausted. She'll be exhausted.Sadfacesadfacesadface. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dnLdiV
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