I'm so at the end of my rope with her that I can't even write this out in an understandable paragraph format so here it is in bullet points.She's already been diagnosed with ADHD and is taking medication. Please keep your judgments and shitty comments about drugging kids to yourselves. It was a difficult decision and we tried everything else available to us before making this decision. I also don't live in the US where drugging kids seems to be some kind of conspiracy/epidemic because kids are "too active." Her pediatrician refused to prescribe anything (we never even asked but she assumed that's why we were there) until we had exhausted all other options. The drugs work while she's on them, but when they wear off at the end of the day she reverts back into how she's always been.Her getting unbearable after the pills wear off isn't a side-effect of the pills because she was like that for 4 years before she started on the meds. She's fine when she's on them but she can't be on them all day.She has been raised since day 1 in a loving, caring, nurturing environment, as have her siblings. She's the only one like this. All of the rest of them respond to the typical parenting styles seen all over the place...natural consequences, time outs, losing toys and privileges, etc.She does not respond to any kind of discipline, rewards charts, natural consequences, punishments, etc. Please don't tell me I'm being too soft, or to just keep at it. It doesn't work with her. We've literally tried every kind of discipline imaginable over the last 4 years and nothing ever works, except for hitting her, which is obviously not an option. No matter what approach we take she seem to hate us, hate her siblings, and she doesn't seem to be at peace unless the rest of the house is in a state of chaos.She is completely and utterly defiant to the point where she will stare you straight in the face while doing the exact thing she's been told, and knows she's not supposed to do.She is completely unable to transition from one task to another, to the point where telling her it's time to _______ will send her into a complete rage where she will throw things, break things, and call us names. No amount of warning/routine matters. Her routine is so set in stone, she has it memorized, but still actually refuses to comply. We give her 30, 15, 10, and 5 minute warnings and she says "okay" but when it's actually time to do it she loses her mind.She has absolutely zero impulse control. If she's mad she will throw food, break things, hit, scream, slam things, whatever. When I say zero impulse control I mean zero impulse control.She is EXTREMELY emotional for what seems to be the fucking stupidest things. If her pizza isn't warmed up to the exact temperature that she wants it at, she'll break down and cry as if our cat was murdered in front of her. If she was expecting a certain outcome in a certain situation and it doesn't happen just the way she'd imagined, it's a complete breakdown.She has zero ability to empathize with the people around her. I know that's somewhat normal for young kids, but she's not making progress.It's at the point where we can clearly see that her emotional maturity is starting to fall behind that of her 3 and 5 year old sisters.If she's in the house she's fighting, screaming, and yelling and we're trying our best to stay cool and not lose our minds. From the time she gets out of bed in the morning to the time she leaves for school it's an all-out war. Then she takes her meds and she cools down and gets through the school day, and then about an hour after she gets home it's pure shit again until bed time.She will not back down ever, and the harder we push her, the harder she pushes back, then we push harder, and she pushes back even harder. It's like she has no mechanism in her brain to tell her she's lost and her fight response is completely out of whack.And again, please don't tell me we're too soft on her or that we're letting her get away with anything. There is nothing we haven't tried, and sometimes "letting her get away with it" is the least of all evils. Sometimes letting her "win" is worth the 30 minutes of peace until the next thing comes along that sends her off the deep end.And yes, I know she senses that we don't "like" her sometimes. I know she's not an idiot, but what the fuck are we supposed to do? She comes out of her room with her back up, ears back, primed and ready to picking a fight before we even have an opportunity to start the day fresh and with a happy attitude. There are times when we know she feels disliked but when the atmosphere around her is so toxic I also feel like it's impossible to put on a happy face 100% of the time.So I don't know what I'm looking for. Maybe someone out there has lived through something like this and they figured out a way to manage. Maybe someone will tell me that their kids were just like this and they grew out of it. Maybe someone will tell me that this is my life until she's 18 and I can kick her out of the house (if she's not already in rehab or jail).What I'm not looking for is for one more person to suggest a goddamn fucking reward chart, gold stars, or other ways to bribe my kid into behaving. If it occurred to her, she'd probably have taken her last 15 reward charts off the wall, thrown them on the floor and taken a big steaming shit on them.Edit: I just wanted to add that no matter what the task is, she refuses to do it alone. Going to the bathroom, going to get a snack, going to get something from her room, no matter what it is she flat-out refuses to do it without her mom or myself accompany her. If we refuse it's another tantrum. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dudkJc
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