Hilarious miscommunication with a 6 year old

Naomi, when she’s sad, sick or lonely can evoke sympathy from a sidewalk, she’s that good. Try to imagine the saddest yellow lab in the world, because that’s what Naomi looked like when she came up to me and said “Daddy, it hurts when I pee.” So I pick her up, give her hug and confidently tell her that I’ll make it better. You see, with 3 girls, a wife and a mother who was a sexual health nurse, I am at the top of my game when it comes to knowing about the care and maintenance of girl parts.“Okay honey, thanks for telling me, it’s really important that you tell a grown up whenever that happens.” Ever vigilant for the dreaded UTI or perhaps something worse I run through the basic diagnostics: Temperature: fine Visible rash: nope Cloudy pee: not that I can tell Pain in the abdomen: nope Peeing more than usual: nope Hmmmm…. “Okay honey, are there any other problems when you pee?”“Yes, it hurts when I wiggle them.”At this point in the conversation all the confidence I had in my understanding of the female anatomy came to an abrupt and mystifying end. My encyclopedic knowledge of the reproductive parts obviously did not include the ability to “wiggle them.” What I said next was “pardon?” but what I was thinking was “GIRLS CAN DO THAT!?” Holy smokes!” “Honey, what do you mean you wiggle them” “Like this daddy” she says with her hands in the air madly waving her fingers back and forth. "Honey, I don;t understand" (Ever more perplexed) "They tingle!" (Indignantly) “Your vagina?!" "No, MY FINGERS!" "You mean your fingers hurt when you pee?” (Incredulously) “YES!” (exasperated)Totally perplexed, I take her in to the bathroom and ask her to demonstrate. As she’s settling in on the toilet looking peeved I notice that she is sitting on her hands on the seat. ”Honey, were you sitting down for a little while?” “A few minutes I think, I was relaxing.” “Try not sitting on your hands.” “Oh, thanks daddy.” Problem solved. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dEm96a