Shaming Parents

I’m guilty of it. I think we all are.I remember the first time I took my son to get a hair cut and another child came in throwing an absolute fit. Mass hysterical behavior. And I looked down at my son like he was an absolute angel. I came home and told my husband about how this one child was screaming and crying while our son just sat there and watched cartoons. Probably had a smug look on my face and gave myself a thousand pats on the back for my great and clearly “superior” parenting skills.Fast forward to the second hair cut appointment. I had no concerns, my son was excited about getting his hair cut and practically ran into the building. And then.... you guessed it. Major meltdown. For whatever reason (if there is even exists a reason), he was not having a good time and this was not what he wanted to do. Now I’m the mom with a son that seems uncontrollable and hitting and crying, refusing to even get in the chair. And I was upset. Not because my child was behaving like the Tasmanian devil. But because I felt shame. I felt judged. I saw the other women’s eyes on me, not my son. Me. “How will she react?” “Is she going to let her son act like?” “My child would NEVER act like that”. I knew what was going on while everyone “pretended” like they didn’t notice. Yeah, right. I knew, because I had done the exact SAME thing only a few months earlier. That’s what stung.And it really shook me. I mean how many of us grew up with our parents being critical of other parents? Mine sure as hell did, but I still had a great childhood. I now wonder how much of this was a coping mechanism to overcome feelings of inadequacy as a parent. “At least we’re aren’t that bad.” We all love to say that, mostly in our heads to ourselves. And about everything from parenting, relationships, work, physical appearance, health.So my question is, how the hell do we curb this? How do we stop measuring up how our child acts compared to that child. How they parent versus how I parent. How do we stop wondering what story they tell their friends about how horrible a child behaved while getting their haircut the other day?Parenting is hard. But maybe just being a parent is harder at times. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/34p8abk