My take on the ‘forcing kids to hug their family members’ issue that comes up every holiday season

I don’t force my 4yo to hug anyone, because obviously that would be a violation of her bodily autonomy, but I also don’t think there’s anything necessarily awful about me suggesting the idea to her.Like today at the family thanksgiving meal, I suggested she go and hug her aunt and grandmother goodbye, and she was more than happy to do it. It wasn’t forced, only suggested, and she gladly went and hugged those family members and it was a natural, positive experience for her.Now, this may be controversial, but as my daughters first role model, I believe it’s important that I teach her that she has the autonomy to both accept and reject physical contact. Children do not exist in a bubble. They thrive in family/home/social environments in which they feel connected and secure, and I feel very strongly that there is nothing more deeply and viscerally connecting and safe to a child than a loving, warm embrace. An emotional connection between two people is going to be reinforced and strengthened with every positive instance of physical contact, and that is equally as true for kids as it is for adults.So even though it is not required, I do sometimes suggest hugs to my daughter at family events.And I believe that in consistently reinforcing the positive value of those touches, I’ve given my daughter an invaluable feeling of connectedness and an understanding of the importance of positive physical contact. She gets to retain her autonomy while also being encouraged to experience and internalize the closeness that comes along with willingly embracing safe, trustworthy people. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Owd1le