I have 2 adult daughters who are 21 and 22yo, since they could walk, they have never gotten along. I have tried everything from separation, reffing everything, punishing both, different activities with me and mom alone, all sorts of things but nothing worked. Once they hit their teen years things started to calm down. They still fought almost daily but made up almost instantly and could actually get along and be around the other one for more than like 5 minutes. They both have a very fond love for cooking and both are going to culinary school, the younger one got a scholarship so the money we had saved for her college tuition we were able to give our oldest for her tuition. Before you say thats playing favorites we never gave them the money for living expenses we had a different set amount for that, but for the set amount we had for college tuitions we were able to pour it all into one since the other got a scholarship.They are both home for thanksgiving and about 4-5 days ago they had a friend bet (at the time) to see who is the better cook. In hindsight I should have put a stop to that right away but it seemed friendly and hey I get to try both of their great cooking on thanksgiving. My brother, his wife, and their 2 kids came alone with my wife's brother, his wife and their 3 kids. There was a total of 13 people at our smallish house. I was hanging out with my brother and BIL while watching after all their kids. I don't know what happened and frankly I don't care but I guess they were both kinda tipsy and my youngest slapped my oldest. I came in to them both cussing at each other and crying. I took them both into a separate room to see what happened and WOW they were fighting again. I have had to deal with the same BS for the past 21 years. I said "you are adults and acting like children, starting a fight and slapping your sister? Really? I don't care how it started but from now on I'm gonna treat you 2 like kids until you guys can prove to me you two aren't." They were both quiet and ill admit I was annoyed that they were cussing IN FRONT OF KIDS and started a fight over nothing.The rest of the dinner went well enough tho a bit awkward cause they didn't say a word to each other. Everyone left but my brother and his family stayed the night cause he decided getting too drunk to walk was a good idea lol, and his wife doesn't know how to drive manual and he has a manual. When we were in bed my wife asked me how I handled our kids fighting and I told her what I said. She seemed disappointed I talked down to them as kids and that it wasn't the best way to go about it. I asked her what she would have done, and she said that she would have locked the door with them and her in a room and said they can't leave till they make up and get over it. I am now thinking that the way I did it was wrong cause now they are probably mad at me for treating them like kids.II am curious if what I did is wrong? I am not treating them like kids, other than cutting up their food (don't judge I'm a dad lol). I almost like my wife's way better cause it would make themselves work it out but.....idk. Which way was right or the better ways o go about this?TL;DR:My daughters got into a fight last night and I told them to grow up via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/33tOYrr
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