Once again, to have a 2nd child or not

So ive posted before, debating on wether to try for a 2nd child. Quick backstory, I'm 44 and wife is 41. We have a 14 month old daughter. Both work full time jobs with different days off. Just bought a house that sucks up alot of money. Have 2 car payments, doctor bills every month, we are not rich so we have to watch what we spend.So, about 4 months ago, I decided in order to avoid resentment from wife and to give our daughter a sibling, which I do want, I agreed to try for another. Ive talked it over with a therapist also, and he pointed out and made me think of things that I havent thought of. I really thought it over and talked to my wife about things also and decided to go ahead and try. Within a month we found out she was pregnant. But 2 months later she had a miscarriage, due to the initial conception of the egg just not being fertilized correctly, no other reason we are told. She really took it hard, blaming herself, blaming god, very depressed. She sought counseling and after a couple weeks of constant crying She seems pretty much back to normal now. She wants to try again and I'm leaning towards not. If this would happen again it would be just devastating. Not to mention all the other reasons, financial, exhausting, lack of sleep, that I dont want to go through again. Also, wife is overweight so that on top of age we are kind of a high risk.Today she brought up something about a toy almost being broke and to not break it in case we have another, while waiting for my reaction. She does this sometimes to judge my reaction, and it bothers the piss out of me. I said dont know if I want another. She said she didnt understand and I was going back on my word since I said yes 4 months ago before the miscarriage and its not fair. Btw, We still cant try yet due to miscarraige complications anyway, and I told her previously I'm not going to talk or decide for a bit (for like a month or two).It's her dream to have 2 kids and basically I expect resentment for the rest of my life if I dont have another. At the same time I feel our relationship and individual health will struggle, and I may end up resenting her if I give in and do try for another. Just for clarification I never agreed to 2 kids when we got married, was on the fence about having one. I can surely say I'm glad we have our daughter now though.Anyway I hope this isnt too incoherent and random, my thoughts are kinda all over the place. Guess I'm just lookimg for aome justification, because I feel like my wife seems to make it out as though I'm completwly wrong for not wanting to have another. Thanks for reading.Edit: maybe I should post this in marriage? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/333LSvi