Is it wrong or discouraging to show my ADHD and dyslexic son that options exist outside of college?

I am a stay at home mom but was an accountant before quitting. I haven't worked in about 6 years. My wife is an organic chemistry professor. Our oldest is extremely academically inclinded. She is going to be a junior this year and has some colleges in mind, many of them being selective. Our 11 year old does well too. He had some struggles early on because he lived with his grandmother who spoke no English, but he caught up pretty quick and is on the advanced math track. The other two are too young to tell. The 8 year old is on target in all areas except math and the 5 year old has some delays and will need an IEP for speech and motor delays this year for kindergarten.The 12 year old is dyslexic and has ADHD. School has been a struggle for him and isn't a whole lot of fun. Now that this younger siblings are passing him in reading, he's been feeling down on himself. We try to remind him of all the things he's good at. He is a very talented athlete, especially with wrestling and lacrosse. That hasn't helped him gain more confidence in school because he says he's still dumb. We have a tutor and he has a 504 plan but it's still hard for him.I started talking to him about other options. Turns out the kid didn't even fully realize there were options outside of a 4 year college. He knew some people didn't go but thought those people ended up working at McDonald's or something. We talked about trade school, military, and even community college if he wanted to test the waters. I saw him change so much and told him we could speak to people who went these routes since most of our friends are professionals.My wife is pissed. She thinks I am planting the seed that he's not smart enough to go to college. That wasn't what I meant. I do think he is extremely smart but realize that the traditional school setting may not be his thing. He'll always struggle to read. He'll always struggle to focus. I'm hoping he can find the route that makes him the happiest.Is showing other options telling him that I don't believe in him or that school isn't important? I don't want to send that message. Is there a better way to handle this? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Yc9i2Y