12 year old son thinks his dad is gay and wants to come live with me full time

So my ex and I have joint custody over my 12 year old son. He goes between homes and is pretty well adjusted.He is a huge snooper and one day found a giant dildo in his dad and step moms bedroom. He brought it over here to show his friends who live at our complex and I had no idea this thing was in my home until his father came over to take it back. We talked about how he needs to stay out of other peoples bedrooms, ect, and I thought that was it.A couple months ago he came to me declaring that knows his dad is gay.He was once again snooping and he found a gay magazine and some gay porn and put it together that the dildo was his dads. So the entire time I’ve known his father, 15 years, I’ve always know he was bisexual. It’s never been a big deal.My son is totally flabbergasted. He doesn’t understand why his gay dad is married to a woman (especially a woman who he absolutely does not like) and he feels like his dad has been and is lying to him. He has told me he doesn’t care that his dad is gay but he hates that he’s being untruthful to him.This has been like the final nail in the coffin on the decision that he no longer wants to split time between our homes. Hes declares he only wants to visit on the weekends. He’s never really liked going to his fathers (step mom he doesn’t get along with, younger step and half siblings he feels get more attention) and now it’s like a battle to get him not to be mopey or sad when he knows he’s got to go to Dads.I am at a loss as to what to do.I’ve let his dad know that our son is onto his “secret” but I don’t know if that knowledge will change anything. His father is not a bad person but he is kind of selfish and I honestly don’t think he will take the time to explain anything to our son. I don’t feel like it’s my place to talk about it either. My best friend is gay so it’s not like this is a whole new experience for my son, he knows homosexuals but he’s just really hurt that his dad is hiding things from him.If my son pushes his father to let him stay full time at my home I know it will come back on me and somehow be my fault. He’s in 7th grade this upcoming school year and I’ve told him that he’ll have more voice in mediation once he’s a little older, so he should just sit back and finish out middle school and before high school starts we will go back to court and see if our mediator will take his wants into consideration.Since this whole thing has started he has been fighting with his step mom more (one fight ended up with her freaking out and breaking his skateboard into two pieces), stealing money from them, and being extremely disrespectful to step mom and his dad. It’s gotten to the point where several times he’s been dropped off at my home because he’s being such a monster, and that’s exactly what he wants. He’s a peach to me and my partner. A little snarky sometimes but never to the extent that he gets at his dads.Any advice? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2ylrvvp