Thursday 24 May 2018

Obnoxious Parenting Questions - Foster/Adoptive Kids [RANT]


Can I rant for a quick second?I'm SO DAMN TIRED of people asking if my husband and I are having 'some of our own' or asking 'Are you guys planning on having any real ones?' when the conversation naturally turns to the fact that my children are adopted instead of biological.Just because our conception took place in a courtroom, we're not any less 'parental' than you are.AND FFS, DON'T ASK THIS IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN!You're implying to someone who was born into trauma and suffered who-even-knows what all that they're not 'real children'.And while we're at it, do NOT tell my children they're 'lucky' they were adopted. They had nothing to do with it. Lucky children are born into loving, supportive homes. Lucky children do not move every two weeks for three years. Lucky children don't struggle to understand the concept of 'family' being fluid and then when they finally get situated, get told that they're 'lucky' to have been picked. They aren't scratch off lottery tickets. They're real people with real feelings and real issues.Choose your words carefully, please. If you have questions about the adoption or foster care process, please ask me if we can have a private conversation about it, and I'll go have coffee with you and be an open book about every question you have - except for 'why are your children adopted' - I'm not going to give you their full backstory. That's THEIR story to tell, and they don't even have all the details. You don't get them before they do.And to the bitch at the grocery store who asked how long we'd been married because 'I'm too young to have two kids this old' - stay in your own lane. Maybe I had children out of wedlock, maybe I'm a foster mom who can't conceive, maybe I'm babysitting, maybe I'm an adoptive mother. But none of that is your damn business.Sorry for the rant. Just wanted to type it all out. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2LsA7Gc

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