Being the primary custodial parent is a thankless job, yet I am so thankful to have this job.

"I asked for this." I reminded myself when I get an email from my 7 year old's teacher saying my daughter got very angry, screamed, "I hate school." And barricaded herself under a desk. I remind myself about the months I spent going to court, the thousands of dollars I paid to a lawyer to get me full custody. I not only asked for this I fought, begged, and paid for this. I wanted soul custody of my daughter. I wanted to be her primary custodial parent.When I got divorced and my ex husband got remarried I needed to become really secure in my position as the mother. Christmases, and birthdays always felt like such a competition who was going to give the best, the most, her favorite gift? I learned a few years into this song and dance that there was no competing, and staying in my lane was the best thing to do. I stopped wanting to be her best friend and knew my efforts were better spent shaping a healthy, happy, loved young girl.Monday nights my 7 year old goes to dance. At the beginning of every class the teacher asks a question. This particular Monday was the return from Christmas break and the question was, "What was the best gift or the coolest thing you got to do on Christmas break." I was eager to know what my kiddo would say... Maybe she would say it was the cool band t-shirt I got her or maybe it was going to be the Captain America hoodie she got from santa. It wasn't either of those things. It was the karaoke machine she got from one of her Grandmas and the trip to go see her other grandma that made the list. Honestly I wasn't surprised. I also wasn't hurt. This is where becoming secure in my motherhood has served me. I kind of know the things I buy her would never make the list of the best things. You see as the primary custodial parent I buy her the things she need not always the things she wants. Now I'm not saying others don't buy her the things she needs I just saying that is always my objective when I buy her a gift.That same night I took the kids through the panda express drive through where I had a really nice conversation with the girl at the window, as we drove away my 4 year year old said, "Mommy she was so pretty in her apron." And the 7 year old says, "Yeah she was so nice I hope we see her again next time we come here."At that moment I had a realization..... Being the primary custodial parent is a thankless job, and one of the most rewarding. Maybe I will not be the one to get her the best gift, but I am teaching her lessions about being an empowering woman. She is learning the power of giving a compliment and being kind to others. The Karaoke machine maybe forgotten in a year, but these life lessions are a gift that will serve her throughout life. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/36APcP4