Friday 31 March 2017

How to motivate a lazy son?


I have two boys, the younger one (11yo) is self driven, motivated, always does his best in everything, from violin practice to sports; he will not eat or go to bed if his homework is not %100; admirable attitude; it may sound corny, but I find his attitude in life, inspiring.The older (13yo) son, however, is not as hungry. Although both of them manage to get good grades (B at worst), the 13yo has to be pushed and prodded on a daily basis. He has a tendency to half-ass what he does, from doing homework to cleaning his room, to running.For example, we went out for a father/son run the other day, I could not get him to sprint at 50% of his capacity, the guy just would not put in more than minimal/average effort! Another example: When tasked with writing essays, he takes so many shortcuts, his final piece ends up being shit. He's a voracious reader with spelling bee level vocabulary, and can definitely write beautifully when he puts in the effort, but he seldom does. A third example: He's given soccer drills by his coach, like 50 juggles, 50 ladders, etc..; watching him do it makes me want to look the other way! He barely tries, always satisfied with minimal effort.What I tried so far:Cajoling and bribing: minimal results.Leading by example: I started life as a poor immigrant, and "made it" in all senses of the word. I work hard at my job and at home; I fix everything around the house, from IT, to plumbing, to cars. I keep in great shape; I lift, I run 5Ks and 10Ks etc..Threatening to suspend privileges, but he doesn't have that many to begin with as we don't have any game consoles, and only allow TV on the weekend.How can I get my son to have that fire in the belly? How can I instill that drive that makes you push HARD for what you want and not give up at the first sign of adversity?!He's ok now living at home, having good parents to take care of him, but once he's out there in the real world, with this attitude, he won't make it very far :(Thank you in advance. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2nTL8qJ

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