I don't think I grasped the reality of the situation until my truck topped out above 180km/HR and she told me she's having birth in the front seat. Maybe it was when she started reasoning with herself and making up situations out loud about how it happens, that I started to panic. I prayed to any entity that would listen and kept my foot on the pedal.I know how babies come into this world. It isn't via stork, but this was a whole different situation for me. I have an interesting job (cannot post), so when I say things don't gross me out, believe me. I have seen it all. At least I thought I did. I have developed a strong stomach over the past few years.I couldn't talk when I got to emergency. I made hand gestures and blurted single words to a nurse that I happened to know. She gave me a wheelchair and off to delivery I go. I would have took the stairs with her in the wheelchair if I thought it would be faster, because the elevator wait was the longest seconds of the day.Needles and gore dont bother me, I watched all the needles and the catheter install, I was good. Then a head popped out of my Fiances downstairs, and I thought "oh my. That's a full head of hair."I like to think I don't get scared. I watch scary movies and occasionally tense up. Every once in a while a friend can catch my nerves, but for the most part I have a good handle on it, including my job situations which are by no means reasonable.The doctor starts explaining he may need emergency blood transfusion because my fiance has a low iron and may not clot blood, and risks bleeding. I was still alright, but I played it off and reassured my fiance. I wasn't going to let her know they were dead serious, so I said something about it just being procedure and not to worry about it and to focus on her breathing. The doctor kept talking about complications but I honestly wasn't listening. I had complete tunnel vision and my audio was focused on my Fiances breathing.The doctor says when she is feeling lower pressure; to push. She immediately says she needs to push, and wham. There's a fucking head coming out of her lady bits. A super tiny head, followed by a body. Hours had passed since admission and time was moving fast but seemed very slow to me. I assure you it was nothing like the movies. Ben (my first son) wasn't crying and I was concerned because he wasn't crying or moving, or breathing. The doctor explains it is completely normal with some babies, and not to worry. The ambilical cord was cut, he starts crying, we are gold. Apparently it is totally normal and he was super cute. Next baby please.So the same procedure starts again. Doc explains he may have to induce labor if she doesn't start having her own contractions. He breaks her water, and says when she feels pressure to let him know. "I GOTTA PUSH!!" and before he can say okay, boom Jackson is sticking out of my fiances Lady bits.So, the same thing happens, no crying or anything, as wait for the cord snip. Cord gets snipped, Jackson is purple (much like a plum) and not moving, and somehow I know my son isn't okay right now. So Doc looks at me and says that this is normal. He explains the same thing as before but I know a bulls hitter when I see one and he was lying this time. All of a sudden there is like 5 nurses (and an Asian man in a suit?) resuscitating my son. Im not a doctor, and I knew there was something wrong. I was completely helpless. So I did what any man should do at this point. I start bullshitting too.She says "why does he look like that? Why isn't he crying? Is he okay?" I say "that is normal he is okay. He isn't crying yet but he will. He is alright it is normal. Doctor says most babies are like this, he will be alright." She believed me, and for once she didn't know I was lying (because usually she can tell and calls me on it).This is when I realized I was full of shit and that I was experiencing the scariest moment of my life. I had no idea if he was okay, or going to be. I felt myself become extremely angry, and I wanted to rush over and help, but I knew I was absolutly helpless. My son's life was in these people's hands and I had to watch and wait, regardless of the outcome. I doubt if I will ever be more scared than this in my life.I am not religious at all, yet I was talking in my head to someone, and myself. I continuously said the same things over again. Please help my son. I am not leaving this hospital with one baby. I imagined myself explaining to my step son that he only has one brother not two like we planned, and how upset he was going to be. I imagined myself explaining to Ben that he was a twin, but his brother didn't make it through delivery. I wasnt sure if I was suppose to lie and not tell them about it at all. I was terrified. Then I thought "I AM NOT LEAVING THIS HOSPITAL WITH ONE BABY."I don't remember feeling more relieved than the sound of his cries. Call it coincidence, but within seconds of thinking "I am not leaving with one baby" he started crying. It was like 1000lb just came off my shoulders. All I said was "he is okay." I cannot describe the feeling of knowing that he was going to make it.The next part all happened quick. I went out to tell my parents and show the few quick pictures I snuck, as the babies were whisked away to ICU. We were admitted to our room and I decided to write this experience. I was pretty rattled and I started to write it as a coping method, but thought it would make a nice story.2 months later, I have two sweet identical twin boys home safe and sound. Sorry about being so long, I am new to reddit but I thought others may like to hear incase they went through something similar via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2nfr1iv
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