Thursday 29 August 2019

A stepdad moment I will remember for the rest of my life.


TL;DR at the bottom.Background: I'm a 36 year old stepfather to a 8 year old girl who's biological father stepped out when her mom was 7 months pregnant. Her mother and I have been married for about 1 1/2 years now but we have been together for about 3 years. The marriage and family have really come together nicely and everyone is happy with their new found lot in life. My wife is now 5 months pregnant and the inevitable talks about genetics and where babies come from have occurred. I try to steer away from talks about the baby looking like me or mom or how tall the baby will end up being (I'm 6'5" and an relatively athletic 240lbs).The talk: My step daughter and I were driving home and for the first time in her whole life she asked me (of all people) about her biological father. She said, "I have a weird thought, I don't know who my father is or if I will ever meet him." I have a total "oh shit" moment. Like I need to get this right and nobody can help me. So I tell her, "There may be a day when he calls to meet you or when you're older, you may want to find him. The decision to meet him is totally up to you and I will support you no matter what. I don't know who he is and I've never really asked mom about him. Just remember this is a guy who knowing full well he got your mother pregnant, chose to walk away. He has never met you and left you and your mom to raise you alone with no help at all. He missed his chance to have a beautiful family and an amazing daughter and I feel sorry for him" (Or something like that, I can't remember exactly)Then, like an unimaginative panicking man, i channel a quote from Guardians of the Galaxy 2 and say "Whoever he is just remember, he may be your father but he's not your dad." Then she says the best thing i have ever heard in my life. She says, "Well I don't think i want to meet him. I already have a dad and I don't want a different one."Everyday I worry I am going to do or say something wrong and I'm still learning the ropes of being a dad but i think I did pretty well on this one and wanted to tell someone about it.TL;DR: Stepdaughter asked about her biological father who she has never met. I quoted Guardians of the Galaxy 2 and told her, "he may be your father but he's not your dad." And she agreed. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2zwJ900

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