My teenaged daughter took my vibrator

So, I’m a healthy, married adult woman who is private about personal matters. I keep a few sex toys in my night stand and use them with or without my husband without shame, but behind closed doors. Considering my strict religious upbringing and a prior bad marriage, it took me years to get to the point where I don’t have hang ups about sexuality.I know kids are curious and probably go through my nightstand when I’m not home, but my kids are teenagers and if they are snooping and see something private, I figured it would be a deterrent from snooping again. (Eww gross, old people have sex).A few months ago, my wand vibrator went missing. I keep it super clean and I could easily be using it to massage sore muscles. Well, it turned up in my daughter’s room, along with my sex toy cleaner. She had obviously been using the wand and not the cleaner. I said something to her about it and she said she was using it as a massager because she’s into several sports. I let it go, but we had a brief frank conversation, which was pretty much me saying that curiosity is normal and it’s natural to learn about your body and do things in private to make yourself feel good. I also said that you can hurt yourself by using powerful vibration or not cleaning toys properly. It was embarrassing for both of us, but she seemed to understand.I told my husband/her father what was going on, mainly because I didn’t want him to have an embarrassing encounter. He was mortified, but wanted to be supportive. He bought me a new vibrator and a wand, which I initially kept in a locked box (the vibrator was a realistic representation but bright purple, so even I was feeling a bit embarrassed by having it in my nightstand). Fast forward, hubby and I are having sex and I look for the toy, and it’s nowhere to be found.My daughter has been super crazy about anyone going into her room so I waited until she was at school to look. Today, while my daughter is at school, I find it in her room and she has been using it. Clearly, I need to have a conversation about my expectations that my room is private and she should not take things and that sex toys are personal and should not be shared. It’s going to be awkward and I don’t want these items back. I thought we had covered it, but clearly I need to be more direct. I’m hesitant to use guilt or shame, even for the snooping and stealing, because I don’t want to mess with her head, but geez, I feel like a failure.Any advice or ideas welcome. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2NrDhvf