My 11 yr old daughter has always struggled in school. The work does not come easy to her like it does with our oldest but she does really well when she actually pays attention in class, does her homework, asks for help at times, and studies. This year she started middle school so all the previous years of teachers babying her is out the window. Which also means now her grades are awful. The school however provides so many chances for kids to succeed. They provide before and/or after school tutoring with every teacher 1-2 times a week, you get an extra 5 days to turn in homework, and every teacher has to give you 5 days to remake a quiz/test if you score below a 70 (with a max grade of a 70). My daughter however still continues to have grades below a 70. Why? Because she either won’t turn in her homework or won’t go to tutorials. She has an agenda and a binder for homework to do, completed, and extras so she can stay organized.Her homework is always completed but 50% of the time she won’t turn it in. 2 weeks ago I saw homework sitting at home, took it to school for her, and she still didn't turn it in. She recently had a 30 in science because the only reported grades for a week were the quizzes; all the work is done in class and she just never did it. When her teacher was talking to me and her about her grade my daughter just giggled the entire time. I’ve already talked to her science teacher and she is suppose to be kept away from friends until she can learn to use class time to do work. She also refuses to go to tutorials where she can get 1:1 help most of the time and everytime she goes to tutorials her grades always improve.We took her to a concert where she missed half of a day of school earlier this year after keeping all grades above an 80 for a few weeks. She missed 2 quizzes so I set up dates with her teachers to remake them - she skipped the remakes. We took her phone away since it’s her lifeline and told her she could have it back once her grades reached a 70. She ended up going and taking her phone out of our room so now she can’t have it back until atleast mid February. She complained about tutorials so we told her she doesn’t have to go as long as her grades always stay above a 70 - 2 weeks later she was failing 3 out of 4 main classes. She says volleyball and flute are the 2 most important things in her life - we put her in private flute lessons like she asked, put her in city volleyball, and looking for a private volleyball instructor so she can make the school team. I walk her to morning tutorials on days that I am off. We started a to-do list for her which lists all of her classes to remind her about homework/studying. We told her chores do not have to be done except on the weekends. We did not take her to the movies (as she wanted to) with us because she didn’t keep her grades up. We set-up a rewards chart for her that she was involved in and she still is not doing anything. Told her she could have any birthday party she wanted in February all we asked her to do was have her teachers sign her agenda and go to tutorials. She was super excited about this, told us what she wanted, and then skipped afternoon tutorials the next day. This tutorial she skipped was to remake a test that she spent 2 hours the evening before studying for and she still skipped it. We want her teachers to sign her agenda so we are aware of what is going on in school (since she lies to us constantly about what she is suppose to do for the week) and her teachers are even reminding her but she won’t hand them the agenda. This week we even took all her clothes away (since she states its her “whole life”) and for every 3 days that she has 3 out of 4 teachers sign she gets 1 day of her clothes back and I offered to take her clothing shopping once she earns clothes back. She’s had 0 teachers sign so far this week (even with them reminding her).I am trying both positive and negative rewards but in the long run nothing is getting accomplished still. We have 2 trips coming up and my husband just wants to leave her out of them to see if that would change her habits but I don’t think that will be any good from a psychological stand point. I am also working on therapy for her even if it means I have to pay for it.Is there anything else we should try or not continue to do to see if it helps? Or would it be more beneficial for us to stop trying, give her everything back, and just let her fail the school year? Anything is appreciated! Sorry its all so long I'm just super frustrated. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fEduSD
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