Why do I get no joy being around my son?

I swear I’m not a horrible parent! My son tells me often that I’m fun and he loves me. But, I don’t feel the same. I do love him, but I just can’t seem to have fun and truly enjoy myself with him no matter what we do. I can pretend very well so he can’t tell, but even after 8 years I don’t get joy out of doing stuff with him. I fake laugh and he laughs, I wrestle with him, tickle him, plays video games and toys, but I can’t seem to get into the moment and let go. It’s driving my wife insane too. She can’t tell I’m not having fun, but I know my son can’t. What the hell is wrong with me!?!? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2HWxHPv