Throwaway account, just in case kids happen upon this. Also, this is probably going to be a little rant-y, so you might want to skip to the TL;DR.I have a blended family, and there are four teenagers at home. This post particularly refers to my oldest teenage boy in high school (he's 16). Now, let me just say, ultimately, he's a good kid. He has a good heart and soul. He doesn't get into fights, he doesn't do drugs (that I know of), he has friends, he loves his dog, he sometimes comes to me for life advice, and despite some of his actions, he really does care about his family. He checks in with me (mom) every day when he gets home from school and hugs me when I'm about to cry because of PMS.Having said that, this kid has been giving me fits since he was 4. It's just one thing after another. I can't properly put everything into context with a single post, but hopefully you guys will get the idea.I ask him to take out the trash. He doesn't. He leaves things like q-tips on the counter in his bathroom. They accumulate for DAYS if I don't check. There's a trash can RIGHT THERE. Lately, instead of throwing them away, he hides them in his bathroom closet, which is ACROSS THE ROOM from the trash can (!??!).I ask about his homework, I practically sit on him to make sure it's done, but he just DOESN'T TURN IT IN (WHY?! 'I dunno'). Teachers say he's respectful and pleasant, and every year they say he is extremely intelligent and capable, but sometimes just plain refuses to do his work in class. As a result, his grades suck.If someone else has leftovers in the fridge, he'll be the jerk that eats it without asking.If I ask who made this particular mess or left the orange peels on the couch, he probably did it.I got a truancy letter from the school the other day, turns out the little gremlin has been skipping classes every so often.The other kids complain sometimes that he's bossy and rude. Not violent or anything, just basically a dick.If his room is filthy, I take the xbox cord and tv cords and say, hey, just clean your room and you can have them back. Does he clean his room? Nope.I talk to him. I try to level with him. I fuss at him. I ground him. I take away the phone. I give home extra chores. I bribe him. And sometimes I holler more than I should. And then sometimes...I just don't wanna deal with it.Sometimes I don't want to argue about the q-tips AGAIN. Sometimes I don't want to even look at his room, because I'm sure it's a mess, and I don't feel like having that song and dance again right now. Sometimes I don't want to look at his progress report, because I know it's probably going to suck, and I don't feel like going through the why's and what-can-I-do-to-help's. Sometimes I cringe when the school calls and I just screen it, because screw it, I'll deal with it tomorrow.I know turning a blind eye is definitely not going to fix anything, and I try not to do it frequently. I know it's not fair to the other kids (who generally don't push the limits as much), but damn. I think I get tired of him being in trouble more than he does.Also, before anyone suggests it, he's been tested for ADHD. Please believe me when I say I've tried standing back and looking at the situation objectively from every angle I can think of, along with his myriad of teachers over the years, his doctor, MY therapist, etc. It's more like...rebellion or something rather than specifically an ADHD or other medical/cognitive problem. It's almost like he spends MORE effort to just lowkey push those buttons. Just SSDD.What gives? And, does this make me a bad parent? I can't be alone in feeling like this, right?Edit: Redundancy. I got a little repetitive in there with my ranting.TL;DR : Teenage kid pushes a lot of little buttons that I sometimes pretend to not notice because I've already fought 1,462 other repeat battles with him this week via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2T34ys8
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