Hey all. I usually read some good advice on here so I figured I'd ask for some. I'm on my phone and I know the formatting is going to off, sorry for that.I have a beautiful 14mo old. I absolutely adore her abs want to have like a billion more of her cause shes seriously the most perfect little human ever.I'm currently pregnant. I dont know how far along I am but I've known since late October. Why haven't i gone to the doctor? Idk. That's part of my problem.With my first child i had the worst morning sickness ever. It lasted all day and really only calmed down after my 6th month. It never stopped. I was ok with all that even though it freaking sucked and my mental state was up and down the whole time.Fast forward to now. This pregnancy is a bit easier with the throw up. But my emotions. They are all over the place. It's really bad. I always had depression my entire life and managed it very well. I can't anymore. I told the father of my kids that I was feeling down and honestly really scared I will develop some kind of really bad post partum and not care for this baby like I should. My life right now absolutely sucks. I can't change it. I live with my parents and I love their support but they have a very different way of wanting to raise kids than I do. My sister has 2 kids. She comes over every day. I love them but I dont want to see them every single day. I love my quiet time and being alone with my baby.I have no support and really no one to talk to. Baby daddy just ignore my comment and so I dont know what to do. I have no insurance or even time for a therapist. I guess I'm asking for some advice? Maybe how I can help myself calm down in my bouts of manic anxiety. Maybe I need reassurance that I'll be ok. I mean I have bad days now with my emotions and I always pull myself aside and tell myself whatever the issue it's not my baby who caused it and I cannot be mad with her. I feel like I have a logical person in my head and a shitty pregbany hormonal one who wants to just rage and cry and laugh and eat.Idk how to feel anymore. The only thing that honestly keeps me going is my baby. Seeing her smile I know I need to fo what's right for the other one too. I can't even go to the doctor to confirm that I'm pregnant. I feel scared. Once its really my parents will react, once its real I can't keep denying I'll be overwhelmed with two kids. Once it's real what will happen with my relationship with their father and I? O It's all so complicated. Please just tell me I'll be ok. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/399WQ53
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