This is an update from my post about my SO’s brother, a bad man whom I am actively making sure never gets near my daughter.OP: https://ift.tt/2qkjIdk, I want to thank everyone who took the time to comment on the last post. So many people shared very personal stories of their own lives. Times where they were in very dark places and survived. Nobody should have to go through those types of things at any point in their lives and especially not as children. You are all heroes and brave for sharing with me, and the rest of us, when you could just as easily have stayed silent. I wish I could have answered all of you personally, but there were so many more comments than I ever expected. Trust that I read them all and have enormous love for all of you survivors who strive to make the world a better place.Secondly, it was clear from the post that the biggest pressing issue was to be able to convince my SO that she needed therapy. I did as many suggested and opened the possibility of doing it together, so that she would not be alone. After some discussion, she agreed that she would seek therapy but only if I agreed to go with her. I am more than happy to do that as it can only be beneficial for us as a couple moving forward and any way I can help her move forward from a terrible time in her life would make me happy. I told her that I wasn’t around back then to help and protect her but that I am now for her and our daughter and that will never change.It may have been how I worded my OP but I should clarify that despite feeling bad about denying her parents our daughter, she never actually disagreed with my intent. There was no way she was going to ever bring our daughter into that home if her brother was there. She was mostly just feeling bad about her parents.Personally, I don’t at all. As many of you brought up, they failed their daughter when she was sexually attacked and there is no doubt in my mind they would further fail my daughter. I don’t prescribe in letting incompetent people have any say in how my daughter is going to live her life. I’ve long since felt that they were very negligent people and I’ve never felt comfortable being over there with my little girl. I didn’t share any of this with my SO but I feel as though therapy might help her reach the same conclusions.I’m sure that telling her parents she agreed with my decision helped her move towards that light too. We told them over the phone, as they live far away and I had no ideas of going over there for a conversation I knew would turn into chaos. It did. They accused her of trying to take away their grandchild and being unloving and ungrateful for everything they did. My SO was very visibly upset by this. I told them they never did anything for her and that anything that my SO accomplished, including being a fantastic mother, was despite them. I am persona non-grata with them now but I am more than okay with that.My SO supported me throughout the conversation and made it clear she was on my side. That was what had been most important to me. I needed to know that when push came to shove, she was choosing our daughter. I don’t care about choosing me, we can have our differences and talk it back, but I had to know she would always choose our daughter. I communicated that with her before we talked with her parents and she assured me she always would. That conversation spoke loudly towards confirming her words. I was very proud of her.All of this is still hypothetical because her brother isn’t set for release until early 2019. Still, I felt it very important to act as soon as her dad tried to slip into a conversation with me the last time we were over that he would likely be moving in when his sentence was over. It’s like he thought that would be fine and dandy with me.As of right now, we aren’t going over there until her parents apologize to my SO. I want them to acknowledge that they acted way out of line with her by blowing up on her. Seeing their granddaughter is not a right. It’s a privilege they never even earned in the first place. My SO is still very emotionally shaky but has been very tough love with them. She’s really trying to make it clear how we both stand. I love her more for it.TL;DR: SO agreed to couple’s therapy. No way our daughter sets foot in her grandparents’ house if SO's monster brother is anywhere near it. My SO confirmed this to her parents and they blew up. My SO stood her ground to them. Overall a lot of positive from this update in a very tough spot. We will overcome and my daughter, priority above all, will never be hurt by this monster. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OeSsGA
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