Evaluation for special needs

My daughter is 4. She missed the cutoff date for regular school because she has a late birthday. To make a long story short, I have a toxic family that did their best to convince me that my daughter has an issue when she really has no disability. The only concern there could be is her enunciation on the letters S and L, typical kid issue and my husband thinks her tantrums are a huge concern but he hasn't dealt with kids much before. My mom had apparently devised a plan that "she (my daughter) is smart, nothing is wrong with her she just needs to be with other kids so if we get her evaluated then they might find an issue that will qualify her then she'll be in school...(my name) is ridiculous and crazy and she can't afford $800+ for daycare every month and (my daughter) needs to be away from her this is the only way so I'll tell her (me) that (daughter) has obvious issues that should be taken care of" When I heard her say this to a family member I was more than bothered.I talked with the diagnostician today about what route to take. She basically said it doesn't hurt to get her evaluated, if she qualifies I can say yes or no to putting her in the program. In this case, they would test her for her speech and maybe other issues. To be honest...I don't want her to be held back academically and socially if she's in the program. She doesn't have any disabilities. She counts to 20, she can write letters to create words, i'm teaching her to read,we bake and do activities together, all of that. Her cousins (6 and 8) include her in their homework so she's experiencing that and if she asks me about it I explain.I'm also concerned about having the evaluation tomorrow because my daughter was around my mom all day yesterday, since my sister was watching her, and now she has came back acting horrible and saying she does not like us and that she only loves my mom and that "home" is my mom's house suddenly. I am very convinced that my mom has encouraged this behavior because my daughter says things that are similar to what my mom says and this happens only when she is around my mom and family. My mother is a narcissist and I'm guessing she was working her N magic to get my daughter obsessed with her and now I have to shut her out completely now so my daughter is having hellish tantrums. This was the very last time,I stayed neutral through this and let her have one last chance and my mom blew it by causing this and also arguing,yelling at me and saying very shitty things to me in front of my husband and kids. She was gaslighting the mess out of me and my husband had to physically pick up our daughter and put her in the car because my daughter was screaming that she did not want to go home with us while my mom cussed at me. She even two-faced my husband. She told me certain things but told my husband the opposite. Example, she told me that my daughter needs help and needs Jesus,etc but she told my husband that nothing is wrong with my daughter and that i'm the crazy one. Needless to say, that was the last straw even for my sister because she's sipping the kool-aid from my mom..as well as the rest of my family. Apparently my mom got the whole family to call me and accuse me of abusing our daughter and favoring her over our 6 month old son which is not true at all,she has always said "I can find out what I need to find out and I can get (my daughter) taken from you". This is already difficult because my daughter has been throwing intense tantrums begging for my mom since she left yesterday and every time before when my mom showed up.But this isn't how she normally is so I don't want the diagnostician to think this is how she is every day, her tantrums do not get this intense until my mom leaves from a visit or we get my daughter from my mom's.Should I still have the evaluation done? It's true that we can't really afford daycare for a full month but we can do 1-2 weeks of daycare per month. She could work on her speech and get her behavior handled but she's not disabled in any way. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2SuS2iJ