I just need to vent a little bit and get some input on how to deal with this situation going forwards.I life with my partner and his two kids 9 and 12 we have them mon-friday and thier mother has them on weekends. We have constant issues with her and her treatment and parenting of the kids and she only won back 50/50 custody last year after a fair bit of time of not having any visitation and then linited visitation. There is nothing in the agreement about halloween but normally my partner will offer her some time so the kids get to go out with both parents, last year she texted us to cancel on the kids 15 mins before she was due to collect them because she basically couldnt be bothered and then told the kids later thier dad hadnt let her have them. This year no time had been offered or asked for.We are having a tight month due to both cars and the washing machine deciding to all break within two weeks of each other and just don’t have the money before halloween to go out and drop $50 on costumes. I have explained to the kiddos money is tight and we may have to get inventive with make up, sheets etc they pretty much want for nothing most of the time and are on the verge of being spoiled occasionally so although i wish we could get them costumes, they are still going trick or treating etc and its just a one off bad month deal.Thier mother doesnt provide the kids with clothes shoes coats etc we actually end up buying everything for both houses as she constantly fails to provide for them. We see it as the kids are a prioirty its frustrating but we put them first so if we have two buy two sets of things thats just how it is.Well yeterday she texted my partner and demanded to know why the weekend before halloween the kids didnt have costumes and that if she had to buy them she was getting halloween. My partner didnt reply straight away as he was at work and she texted a further 5 times telling him that he was failing his kids by not buying them costumes and locking them in the house on halloween (not sure what the hell she is talking about as we 100% have plans to go trick and treating and collect our candy tax!) and how them not being able to tell thier friends at school what they had done the night before was cruel etc she also continued on with saying she wasnt buying the kids costumes unless she got them for halloween. Eventually he saw his phone read his messages and just replied saying unless the kids needed something were sick etc he was at work and to stop.I am fuming for two reasons, firstly we send them to thier mothers with cash and dresses fo dances etc and never once demanded if we pay for that we get to take them. We do it for the kids because we know she wont. It feels like she only cares about getting costumes for the kids if she gets what she wants out of it and not to make the kids happy.And secondly how dare she tell him that he is failing his kids by not buying them a store brought new costume. Is this really failing as a parent? I know it bothered him a lot being told that and he genuinely tries his best for those kids every minute of the day.I have been sat up thinking about this all night and its drivig me crazy trying to figure out if we are doing the right thing. We intend to carry on as planned do some stupid cheap make up/sheet style costumes and go and get enough candy to make us sick and look at the really cool decorations in our town, but i cant decide if we should just let her take the kids so they get the costumes, obviously our family plans get cancelled but are the costumes that important?Any input would be so great as i’m slowly driving myself crazy! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2yGKqBx
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