Question for fellow parents of special needs children.

Some background before my question: My daughter is 3, extremely high energy, sensory seeking, severe speech delay (although is has improved drastically since we began early intervention). She hasn't been diagnosed with anything yet but is being tested for autism in September.I'm aware there is a difference between meltdowns and tantrums, and my daughter mostly has tantrums but they are of the most epic proportions. I never know what will set her off, and it is usually the smallest things. She will not let me talk to her calmly, hug her, cuddle her, or anything. She just doesn't stop screaming, and if I ignore her long enough she begins throwing things (to a point where it's not safe) or she becomes self injurious. The only thing that calms her down is either getting her way or a bottle of milk to calm her down. I am trying so hard to wean her, but I just don't feel it's possible. I have tried time out, and she refuses to sit. If I make her sit in my lap for the duration she is flailing, kicking, and hitting me no matter how short the time.I guess my question is this....is it my fault she is like this? Are there special needs kids who just struggle with regulating their super intense emotions, and don't allow people to comfort them? I feel defeated and like I have tried everything, and part of me almost feels like it's my inadequate parenting that has made her this way. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Ou3qcT