Lost it with my 3yo.

I shouted at my son today because he opened all the bananas, broke one banana in half and put both pieces on the carpet and stepped on them, brought all his Lego down to my bedroom, scattered them and then ignored me when I asked him to put them away (3 times) when he’d finished playing with them, climbed on my head and kicked me in the face (accident). When I went in his room some of his glow in the dark stars had been chipped off the wall. He helps himself to food out of the fridge and cupboards which is fine, until he spills yoghurt on the carpet. I can’t watch him 24/7. Today he got up silently as he sometimes does so he was up smushing banana into my carpet before I was even awake.When I saw the bananas, I just lost it and really shouted at him. He didn’t give a shit. I told him to pick up all his toys or he wasn’t having juice. He told me to leave him alone while he was doing it. I shouted at him again and he cried.I honestly don’t know what to do, he’s intent on destroying all my stuff. I can’t take the spills anymore and I feel like the shittest parent and shittest person in the world for shouting at a 3 year old til he was in tears.I hate myself for shouting at him, it’s everything I said I wouldn’t do when I had him. I was supposed to be serene and forgiving and 0% like my own parents and I already feel like I’m failing him/traumatising him/perpetuating the cycle.I don’t know why I’m posting or what I want. Tips on how to be a better parent maybe? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2M25hnJ