My husband of 8 years just left and isn't coming back.

He's been unhappy for a while, maybe he's always been unhappy. He had bad ADD and in hind sight maybe Bi-Polar he couldn't or wouldn't manage (He said no to doctors and no to meds) and it was VERY hard on our relationship because he was untrustworthy and careless and lied constantly to hide his mistakes but in so many other ways he was a wonderful husband and father and I am grieving terribly.He began an affair with a married co-worker and has absconded to his parent's couch with assurances that he will never work on this, he is unwilling to try counseling and he's hasn't loved me in a very long time. He's "choosing his best self" even if it doesn't make sense for our children, or the life we built or the finances we don't have to make this split possible. It's a full on midlife/mental health crisis complete with a stupid tattoo.I am gutted. I have been a stay at home parent for years, his schedule is nuts and there was no way to work and manage childcare so I didn't. I started a semi successful business from home 2 years ago and while it made money we needed it was never supposed to a bread winning activity, it pays the mortgage and nothing else. I gladly supported him and his career choices and I didn't built myself an emotional or financial parachute. Problems and all, I loved him, and I wasn't leaving.My mind is in chaos, he left the day before my sister's wedding and this week we celebrated the birth of my other "sister's" baby. There have been family engagements every moment of the last 10 days and I'm not sleeping and I'm not eating and I am completely sapped and all I want to do is crawl into my husband's arms and cry and then I remember he hates me and I feel even worse.My daughters are hurting and even though they finished most of their crying about it last week they are still in my bed and very needy. There are going to be some massive disruptions to their life moving forward, we might have to sell our home and our new vehicle, my husband and this woman he kept introducing to them as a friend might run off together, we are going to go from no longer poor to very poor and monthly sushi night and movies at the the theater a few times a year will be out of reach.He is not entirely rational about his decisions and he imagines all of it will be easy, including having the children adjust. All of the plans that are being put in place are being initiated by me, from the financial to the child care and there are massive hurdles yet to leap.I don't know where to begin. I don't know what my kids need from me. I don't know how to shelter them from this fall out. Parents who have separated and children of separated parents what do my kids need now and in the near future?He is amicable but seething and can't stand the thought of me because all I do is nag and I am surprised and wounded and can't stand the thought of him being gone. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xvIv0M