Don't stress out the parents of kids in the ICU. They're stressed enough already.

I'm just having a bit of a rant, but maybe this will help someone else, too. My 9wo is in the ICU, which sucks, but what also sucks are some of the trends I'm seeing in people checking in. In commiserating with a mom whose kid is in much worse shape than mine, I can say for sure I'm not the only one who feels this way, so here goes:-Don't ask how you can help if you have no capacity or desire to actually help. Holy crap is that so frustrating. "How can I help?"/"What can I do?" Um, I could use some decent coffee? "Oh, well, I don't have money for that or a way to get there, but anything else, just let me know." And definitely don't offer something in the hopes the parents will refuse. FIL offered to babysit the older kids over the weekend... If we drove them the 90 minutes each way but also not for a 4 hour block on Sunday and maybe not overnight because their kid might be volatile. Why offer? You're much better off with well wishes than false offers. It's gotten to the level of frustrating that Husband is responding to such offers by asking if they want to pay our mortgage.-Don't ask if the kid is feeling better. Kid is in the ICU... No, he's not better. I don't know what magic wand people are hoping for, but it takes longer than 12, 24, 36, etc hours to get better for most things. Hell, we won't even have all the tests back for 48 hours, the other kid's test takes 2 weeks! I can assure you, if the kid is feeling better, the parents will let you know. Texting every 4 hours asking if he's feeling better, then being all pouty when the answer is no is super frustrating. My kid has a virus. I find myself having to explain over and over "How long does it take you to get over a cold? Okay, well he's new and has no practice fighting off viruses. He will get better, but he's not gonna get better right this second, and no, there's nothing 'they can do'." If you want to reach out, try asking "How is he doing?" or even "How are you doing?"-Seriously, it's not the time to regale the parents with horror stories you've heard. Wtf. Why is this a thing? Oh there was a MRSA outbreak somewhere you can't remember in a pediatrics wing and am I concerned? I wasn't... Thanks for that... Or how you know of a kid who just had a cold but ended up in a come with brain damage after going to the hospital... Look, I get it, it's an awkward situation and it's hard to discuss, but this is so not the territory to grasp at straws of related things you heard.Anyway, I may add to this later or delete it. I dunno. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2yHZRaS