How to act when wife is shouting/bullying me in front of our 2 kids

My wife shouts a lot when she is stressed and when normal family problems (small or big) come up. She will explode and almost bully me with no hesitation in front of our 2 kids (1 and 3 year old boys).I've been trying to solve the root cause of this behavior for the last 10 years but I think it's unsolvable. She has been brought up in a family where there was a lot of shouting from everyone and one was constantly humiliating the other. Her family is very bonded and they love each other very much, but they don't seem to excel in critical thinking and problem solving via civilized discussion even for the simplest of matters. In order to be heard, they resort to raising the voice, barking, swearing and name calling to each other.So, my current problem is that she is doing it a lot in front of our 2 kids. Sometimes the older one may start crying. Other times he may come asking why is mommy shouting or what is she saying. When he was younger and couldn't understand much, he would laugh and sometimes try to copy this behavior.My main concerns are that:Kids may get used to this and think that this is a normal way of solving problems or that verbally abusing others is OK when you are stressed out or when the other one has made a mistake (small or bad).Kids may develop some sort of psychological issues because of this?Kids may think that I am weak. (Note that I don't aim to act as the boss of the family. I believe in equality.)What I've tried so far when this incident is taking place:Ask her calmly to stop shouting because this doesn't help to solve the issue.Ask her emphatically to stop shouting.Tell her to not shout in front of the children (of course mentioning the kids in this must not be good).Ignore her. (this soon escalates bad because she'll start swearing or throwing things around and I don't want that in front of the kids)Turn away with the kid(s) and try to do something else in the house.Get out of the house with the kid(s) to do something else, i.e leave for 1 hour or something.Start saying to the kids that mommy is angry because she is tired or because I did something wrong.Please provide suggestions. Again, I only care about how to respond/act in regards on how the kids will grow. Wife's issue is unsolvable (behavior is embedded in her personality).p.s "solving" this via a divorce will only make it worst for the kids. I'm not asking for relationship suggestions but only on how to act/respond in order to grow the kids really strong out of that situation. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xJoRif