(Update) Adult daughter emotionally unable to live on her own.

A year ago, I posted about my daughter, Rachel, who had many of the necessary life skills to survive except for the biggest one: independence. I’m returning with an update and a request for more support/advice.My husband and I followed your advice and made Rachel attending therapy a requirement of her staying with us. We wanted to give her the coping skills necessary so that when she did move out, she would be prepared to handle it. It took a few tries and a lot of searching before she found someone she would stick with, and she’s been with them for several months. Occasionally, we do family sessions.Unfortunately, that’s about where our success ends. Therapy has brought to light a lot of ongoing issues Rachel’s been struggling with. We found out she’s been dealing with suicidal thoughts off-and-on for the past few years. She said/says she would not actually act on them because she has us, her family, and the dogs, but she knows how she would kill herself (drug overdose) if she ever were to.It also came out in therapy that she expects to just wasting away once she loses us (my husband and I). Apparently, she has so little faith in her ability to emotionally cope that she “gives herself less than a year” after the last of us passes. She says a life without us just doesn’t exist in her mind, and that a life without living with us also doesn’t exist.This is where we’ve been stuck at for months, both at home and in therapy. Everyone’s tried pointing out that she could have a wonderful life even without us, that she could get married and start her own family, that she could have friendships, that she could continue her successful career, that she could do anything. She doesn’t have to have us!But she’s still very adamant that she doesn’t want to date, let alone marry, and she doesn’t want to live just to work. It’s like she derives no meaning from life other than the family she has now. We even tried pointing out that she would still have her brother and the family he eventually has (with limitations; we realize now that it would be unfair to make her brother look after her, and he’s refused anyway, which has caused issues between the two of them).She says it’s not the same, but it’s never going to be the same and that’s the issue. She’s created so many rules and schedules and routines to live by. That’s all she knows, that’s all she wants, and if she could live the same day over and over she probably would. But she can’t and nothing I say, nothing my husband says, nothing the therapist says, can get her to accept that. She just goes further into herself.And I don’t know how to fix her. I don’t even know if she can be fixed. I almost regret us pushing her into therapy because it just seems to have made her worse off. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2tlQhuv