Has anyone been very depressed and how did you fix it?

I'm so sad and unhappy. I've been like this since I was a teen but thought it was a phase. I had a kid at 20 and I've always been sad since then, almost 3 years later. It never goes away :(I really don't wanna be around anymore but I'll miss my son :( I've tried talking to my SO about it but all I get is why you say that? Just do it. I'm scared to go to a doctor and then they take away my kid. I'm scared to ask for help since I'm not even sure what I'm asking for. I don't wanna be put in a mental ward but if I tell them how close I am to just being done, I'm scared they might put me there and then it'll always be on record. My SO will use that against me too probably.Am I just a weak person? I love my son so much but I know he will be happier without me. I feel I'll be happier without me. I'm not even a great provider besides being childcare but anyone could do that.I made a post on suicide watch that's just all over the place. I'm so confused and alone. I just want a hug honestly and someone to cry into, but I have no one except my kid and I can't put this on him.Thanks for reading. Ima try to sleep this off, hopefully I feel better in the morning in a few hours. I just need to get this off my chest. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2u6bYM2