Hi, I am kinda new on this Subreddit, I have been lurking for about 2 months. I think I need to get this out of my chest, so forgive my rambling.My (31M) wife (29) and I were planning to have kids and we starting trying to try in the beggining of 2016, she had an Implanon so it took a few months until we succeeded.The point is that I feel, well, confused, don't get me wrong I love my wife like a lot, she is the best thing ever (we have been together 5 years now) and I want to have a kid. But I just can't feel excited, I feel really anxious and nervous, mostly about money and that my wife will change or that I will change, I know it is going to change our lives (but to what extent?) And that scares me. We live in Vancouver by ourselves, all our family a day really close friends is back in Mexico and they won't have the opportunity to help us taking care if the kid and there's no way we will return there because Mexico is falling apart , I make decent money (I am a software dev) but this city is so freaking expensive. Before I was thinking to buy a house, there is no way in hell that will happen now. I am afraid my landlords start charging more money, they are kinda mean sometimes. I have an estable job and if something happens I can find something else relatively easy, so that's not a big issue..the issue is that my mind is racing, I feel depressed, anxious most of the time, I am usually really proactive but lately I don't even want to confront things, I don't want to look at cribs etc, I see them when my wife shows baby stuff to me but inside I am not as happy as I should be...and I feel guilty for that. I know I will love my kid. But I feel so alone and sad and angry sometimes...and I can tell this to anyone because I wrap myself sometimes in a cynical joking attitude (think Chandler from friends) so nobody really knows me that deep, maybe my wife but I dont wanna think I am having regrets. Also everybody seems to be more excited than me, everyone is like: best thing ever 10/10 and I am thinking.... yeah If was swimming in money maybe...and I feel sorry because one of my best friends is struggling to have kids and I did it without any effort and I am Not happy. What's wrong with me? Sometimes I daydream about leaving to a new country and leave everything behind (which I would never do, but the though are there), I am an introvert so I need some space (not a lot...just some) and I feel I wont have time for me and I won't play video games anymore and I won't go boxing and I will lose myself becuase of the kid.Sorry for the long rant and my broken english btw .My question are have some of you experienced this? Is having a kid worth it? Will I have no more time to myself never ever? What are the numbers to win the next lottery?Info about my wife, she is the most responsible person I know and she is great. We have the usual couple issues, so this feeling is related to the fact of being a dad.TL;DR: I will be a dad in 5ish months and I feel anxious and sad, have you experience the same? what happened after your kid was born? How do you feel now?Thank you for reading this. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ayFRA2
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