In disagreement about spanking our nearly 3-year-old

My husband and I have always disagreed about whether to spank our kids. When our oldest was a baby, it was all hypothetical, and he (somewhat reluctantly) agreed with my perspective that we should not spank. My reasoning is that there is no other situation where it is appropriate to hit someone in order to obtain their compliance/obedience, so why is it okay to do so with a child? Both of us were spanked as kids, with different results-- he was unfazed, but I became fearful of my mom. So naturally, he is not as opposed to an occasional spank.Now that our daughter is almost 3, she's really testing us. She also has a new little brother who is 3 months old. Her behavior was INSANE when we first brought him home, but she's mostly returned to normal at this point. At this point, I think her increase of sassiness and defiance is a natural part of being her age rather than a reaction to her brother. We want to address it and teach her to be respectful, obedient, etc but disagree on the method in which to do so.A couple months ago, she started trying to run away from us in public, so I agreed that we could give her a smack on the hand if she did something very dangerous, like running from us or running towards the street. We have each done so once or twice, and it seems to have made an impression on her. She hasn't tried to run in maybe a month, which is great.Now my husband wants to spank her as a part of regular discipline, not just the dangerous situations. In fact, he "popped" her yesterday and told me about it afterwards, which upset me of course. He apologized for doing so without talking to me first but he said that he thinks we need to start spanking her. She is a sweet, funny, and extremely intelligent girl, but these days she is constantly pushing limits, directly disobeying, negotiating, being sassy/rude, and all kinds of behaviors that are not okay. I know it's normal but we do need to address them somehow before things get out of hand.She's very energetic, and it's within the realm of possibility that she has ADHD-- I know she's too young for a diagnosis, nor do I want one at this age, but my husband has ADHD himself and she's wayyyy more energetic and wild compared to peers of her own age. So just out of curiosity I googled "ADHD and spanking" and came across this article:http://ift.tt/2avxdCd know this is only one person's opinion, but now I'm confused. Maybe spanking is what she needs. I'm just not sure. If spanking her now will help her learn to control herself and avoid behavior problems in the future, maybe we should do it. I just can't get over the feeling that it's wrong to use physical discipline/hitting simply because she's my child.Am I overthinking this? I know there are studies about the detriments of spanking, but I've also heard that they typically study extreme cases of abuse and explosive, unpredictable discipline rather than controlled and rational spanking, so I don't know how relevant all of that is either. HELPTL;DR-- Husband thinks it's time to start spanking our very strong willed 3-year-old. I have always been opposed to spanking but I'm reluctantly considering it. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2axqvbQ