Wrong to get babysitter so I can pursue personal hobbies? How much is too much?

I'm a mid 30s father of an 8 year old (with anxiety and ADHD) and a 1.5 year old. I'm the primary caregiver in the mornings and afternoons/evenings outside of school/daycare. I've recently managed to emerge from a stretch of depression and I'm trying to add in some activities for myself both just for the fun of doing them and to engage with other people as I don't have much of a social life. Although I have a flexible job that would let me do activities in the daytime while the kids are at school, I live in NYC and almost all activities I'm interested in are evening activities (6pm or later). I'd love to take some dance lessons, go to a board game night, try a martial arts lesson, or something.My wife is a nurse and is working in the evenings about half the time, so I don't feel like I can leave her home alone with the kids on the nights she is actually home (because she wants my company, and because she's tired so taking care of the kids alone is difficult for her). And I usually plan one of those evenings for us to have a babysitter and go to dinner together. I'd be OK with also trying to do an activity with her, but because of the inconsistency of her schedule that would be difficult, and I think it would be nice to have something that's just mine.But, I also feel guilty about not being home to make and participate in dinner and leaving my kids with a babysitter (especially because my older child is having a hard time at school). I'm sure this is OK on occasion, but what's reasonable? I'm really missing adult social contact and adult activities. Is 3 nights a week too much? 2 nights? Should I just forget about this for now until my kids are older? If so, how do you handle life being just work and kids? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2qZDdvD