I'm worried I will never get back to enjoying parenting.

My son is 4 years old. He's got a lot of great traits. He's really smart, and has a sense of humor, and cares about being kind... he's also exhausting and infuriating.I feel so torn. I spend all day thinking about him while he's at school and missing him. Then within like 20 minutes of him being home, I feel like all my energy is spent and I just count down the minutes until bed time.I used to do all different kinds of activities with him. We would do arts and crafts, music time where we'd listen to different kinds of music and dance or get out our instruments and play, we'd get outdoors and walk or play, we'd read endlessly, cook together, play board games, do puzzles.... now I hate doing any of it. By the time anything is set up, it's so hard to keep him focused, going anywhere seems like such a hassle and a waste of time because I have to spend the entire time correcting his behavior when he's too loud or rambunctious, reminding him not to talk about poop or stick his tongue out at people, or explaining the same thing over and over again. I seriously feel exhausted just THINKING about doing anything with him.I feel like its probably a problem with me more than with him... or maybe he's just developmentally at a stage where it's harder to focus... I don't know. I'm just tired.I feel like crying just writing all this out... my mother was very abusive and I can't remember her ever taking a real interest in spending time with my siblings and I, so when my son was younger I felt so proud. I had stopped that cycle in its tracks. I was engaged, kind, and loving. I felt like if I was ever good at anything in this life, I was a damn good mother with a truly exceptional child.He's still exceptional in a lot of ways, he can spell better than anyone in his class and can recognize lots of simple words by sight, he's beginning to get basic addition and subtraction, he cleans up after himself (mostly) and he's really emotionally intelligent... but he's still just tiring and tedious to me...I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm failing him everyday because I just can't muster the energy to do anything with him. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/336wcah